Reflections on a month gone by...

Jay-R continues to adjust well. Looking back, I can see so many things like...

The meltdowns are now simply age related temper tantrums because he didn't get his way. He hates timeouts but that is where he goes....a little alone moment in his room. He sits and cries and waits for his 2 minutes to be up. These really don't happen too often. He listens really well. He is so polite, too, and says, "please," "thank you," "you're welcome," "sorry." He is just so sweet, he really is, and it melts my heart.

The English...wow, has he picked that up! It is amazing...he says new words every day and is putting together phrases and short sentences. He didn't score very high on his literacy tests at kindergarten registeration but that is to be expected with the communication barrier.

He is learning to play by himself and to keep himself occupied. When we first came home, he was overwhelmed by all there was to do and he could not stay focused on one thing for more than a few minutes. Yesterday, the local newspaper visited to interview me about a story for the local newspaper about our adoption. Jay-R watched Dora and played with toys for almost the entire hour. I can also go upstairs now and grab a load of laundry when he is downstairs and he is okay with this. I can tell that he is so comfortable in his home.

He is very used to routine. At bedtime, we get pjs on, brush teeth, read stories in the comfy rocking chair, do a Bible story, say prayers, sing a few Bible songs, and then go upstairs. We turn on his night light, music, and I stay in his room with my computer until he falls asleep. Yesterday, Kory didn't have the lighting exactly like I have it in the living room when we read stories and Jay-R was quick to correct him. Tonight, he had the lighting ready for me before I even was in the living room.

He is just doing so well. Our very rough days have passed. Sleep can still be an issue as it was last night, but somehow we manage. He stayed later at preschool and ate lunch on Tuesday. When I arrived to pick him up, the room was dark because the other children in all day daycare were napping. Jay-R was looking at a book. He seemed a little sad and ran right into my arms when he saw me. He talked about school a mile a minute once we left but he doesn't seem to like the nap thing. He told me today, "Jay-R no sleep at school." That will be another bridge to cross when I return to work and he is there all day for daycare.

Speaking of work, I have about one month before I return to work full-time. That will be another adjustment. We are beginning to feel very comfortable in our life at home. It is hard to imagine life before Jay-R except I had more free time! He keeps things interesting and unpredictable at our home. We have pretty much returned to our routine before Jay-R except we haven't had a chance to really socialize with family and friends and we miss everyone but we finally have some free time coming up. Our camper came home last night and that gives us something more to look forward to and something new to share with Jay-R.

Oh, we found blue sand! Despite the cold, he had fun playing in the sand last night at his sand table. I'll have to post pics soon but I am too tired now to load pics. I need to catch up on lost sleep from last night!

Roadtrip

Jay-R took his first of many roadtrips to come this past weekend. We ventured to the St. Louis area to visit with Kory's family for a birthday party and a baby baptism. Jay-R met the last of his cousins. He had a blast jumping in the inflatable jump house they rented. With the weather being in the 80s, he was a sweaty mess! With all the jumping and swimming at the hotel, he was absolutely wore out and slept through the entire baby baptism. He never even knew he went to church! He did really well on both ends of the trip except for around the last 30-45 minutes. The way there, it was way late and he was just plain tired. On the way home, he was plain tired of being in his carseat. Unfortunately, on Friday he learned how to unbuckle it all by himself. He is usually good about staying in his seat but he has his moments!

Today, we visited the pediatric dentist. The poor little guy is going to have to have surgery to take care of his excessive dental issues. He has a mouth full of cavities which we were expecting could be the case with having been told this is common with older child adoption from the Philippines. We are just thankful they are all his baby teeth. We are hoping we can get this addressed and when his adult teeth come it, his dental problems will be behind him. Hopefully, this might increase his eating after the dental work is complete.

Tomorrow marks another day of preschool and the end to our unseasonably warm weather. It's back to the 60s. Oh well, it will still be warm enough for him to play with his new sand and water table he got today. He is so excited to get that thing out of the box tomorrow! I'll have to post pictures. My sister in law found colored sand so hopefully we can, too....how fun!

He did it! She did it!

This picture cracks me up! The other night Kory and I were cleaning up in the kitchen while Ashleigh and Jay-R finished their dinner. When I looked into the dining room, they were both laughing. They had made "cereal" from chips, milk, and water. When I asked who did it, this was the reply I received! Ashleigh has been waiting a long time for someone to blame for things...it's amazing how they feed ideas off each other and get themselves into so many things. They are bonding really well and it is a joy to see Ashleigh acting in the big sister role. She is an awesome, patient big sister who has a heart of gold and loves her brother so much!

Dedication Pictures and Random Thoughts

The dedication service was very nice. We didn't really explain it to Jay-R ahead of time because we weren't sure quite how to explain it but he went with the flow of things and did great. Our families came over after church and we enjoyed a nice lunch before a cold soccer game but Ashleigh's team won 3-1. Their record is 3 wins, no losses...they are pretty excited about this.

Random thoughts....As a mother of an only child for 11 years with now an instant preschool age child, I am finding myself feeling torn between dividing time between both children. Tonight, Ash needed math help and Jay-R needed to go to bed and will only let me put him to bed. I felt so stressed at the moment. Overall, things have settled down a lot and we are falling into a comfortable routine. Jay-R is feeling soo comfortable and at home in his surroundings. Preschool is going well and he had a great day today. He told me they did colors, music, letters, ate apples and milk, and he went down the slide. I have some special things planned for just Ashleigh and me...in June we are going to see Mary Poppins live in Chicago and then in July we are seeing a local production of High School Musical 2 so she has things to look forward to. It's the day to day that can be hard. A good friend who adopted a daughter from China told me to be mindful of my daughter's feelings because she experienced similar things with her oldest daughter when they adopted. Ash loves her brother sooo much, she just misses all her mommy and daddy time....she's had it to herself for 11 years so this is a huge adjustment for her, too.

A Quick Thought on Sleep...

It strikes me as funny (and frustrating) that children fight sleep and adults fight for sleep! I love when I can finally go to sleep and Mr. Jay-R fights sleep...one more drink of water, bathroom trip, one more kiss.... Our daughter was the same way. Now at 11, she finally goes to bed easily...with school and soccer, she is tired at the end of the day!

Last night, Jay-R fell asleep in the car. I had taken his pjs and toothbrush to our friend's house in hopes that he would fall asleep on the 30 minute drive home. He slept the whole night in his bed without waking....yeah! I was so happy to have a whole night of uninterrupted sleep and he woke up with a smile on his face and very rested!

I will post pictures of his dedication at church this morning soon.

Sleep, Sun, Soccer, and School

That pretty much sums up my life these past few days. Jay-R started preschool Thursday and loved it. He told me they did letters, colors, music, juice...he had a great time. They played outside on the playground. I love the fact that I can see the playground of the preschool from my backyard. Jay-R had fun watching the kids playing today. The only issue we had at school was he had an accident. I think it was the language difference and being in a new setting. I had told his teacher the Filipino words he uses but he apparently did not tell her. Hopefully, this doesn't happen again. He is looking forward to preschool on Tuesday.

Sleep continues to be an issue. He is okay with me being on my computer (as I am right now) in his room while he falls asleep but the issue is he keeps waking up in the middle of the night. Honestly, he was awake every hour last night. I eventually put him in bed with us but he still kept waking up kicking and screaming...we're not sure what that was all about. He may of had a bad dream, not sure. He is also coming down with a cold so that doesn't help. I got him some medicine today so hopefully that helps. We are thinking a bedtime snack might help, too, because he usually won't eat much dinner. We'll see. I am hoping he falls asleep soon because Ashleigh has an early morning soccer game and then we have a birthday party.

Sun...what more can I say. The past two days have been beautiful and we have been able to go outside...that is good medicine for everyone's soul! Spring is finally here! The two pictures are from Easter at my parents house. My family feels complete...I have both my kids now and I love them both so much! Children are such a blessing even with the ups and the downs. Enjoy your weekend. We have a busy one. Jay-R is being dedicated at church this Sunday...I'll post some pictures. He is wearing his barong, the national Filipino shirt for men for special occasions. I am using the song by Stephen Curtis Chapman-"When Love Takes You In." Then we are having a small family gathering...he is so excited we are having a party for him. He keeps saying "Jay-R's party!" He thinks it's for his birthday....I'm not quite sure how to explain the dedication to him. It's fun to see him so excited, though.

New Experiences

Jay-R experienced his first American Easter complete with Easter egg hunts, coloring eggs, and his Easter basket. He loved hunting for the Easter eggs. We spent time with both sides of the family and he enjoyed interacting with his family. He looked so handsome in his Easter get up and Ashleigh is looking so old! She is growing up so fast! We had family pictures taken on Good Friday and I am excited to see the proofs.

Today, we visited his preschool. He has been talking about school since he has been home. He did really well at the school today during the visit and will start Thursday. He will attend twice a week for two and a half hours each day. He is excited about school and making friends. I worked with him on colors, shapes, numbers and he does really well. He doesn't show much interest in writing his name so we need to work on that.

Overall, things are going well. He is adjusting and bonding well. He is a Mommy's boy but loves his Daddy, too. And he absolutley adores his Ate Ashleigh. They get along really well. He found Ashleigh's old doctor kit in the basement so he has had fun playing doctor with us as his patients. Bedtime is getting a little better, too. Last night, I sat on his bean bag chair on my laptop when he was in his bed. He knew I was in the room and that seemed to be all he needed to know was that I close by. Hopefully, that works tonight. Each day is different! Keeps life interesting...

It's been a week...

This has been a week. I have been to the eye doctor, medical doctor, and dentist. Jay-R's eyes checked out A-Ok....he was hoping for glasses! So, I bought him Spiderman sunglasses today. His medical doctor visits went fine....he is healthy and received a clean bill of health. Dentist....well, that is another story. We have been referred to a pediatric dentist because he will need extensive dental work done...he has a lot of cavities! Jay-R was so brave at the dentist. He sat so still and allowed them to work on his mouth. The dental hygienst made a comment that he really trusts me because she noticed he kept looking at me for reassurance.

Everything is going well except for bedtimes. We have one good night and then four rough nights. Tonight, it took over 2 hours to get him to sleep. We tried rocking, laying with him, everything! It was so obvious that he was fighting sleep. I'm sure bedtimes are the hardest for him. The closest thing I can equate it to are my memories of summer camps and going to bed. That was when I would become sad and think of family and friends. He talks about White Cross a lot and his friends and I know there is grief there. The problem with bedtimes is that by then, we are tired and then the later he stays up, the later we all stay up. I am off work until June 1st so that gives us some time to try to figure out this bedtime. We try to stick to the same routine-pjs, brush teeth, stories, and prayers, but it is so hard to stick to the same time with an 11 year old daughter who is involved in so many other activities. We understand that he has never slept alone before so we try to be sensitive to this but we don't want to start the habit of him sleeping with us. So, for now, we just need lots of patience and prayer. Suggestions are welcome for any techniques, etc that you have tried with adopted and biological children. Our 11 daughter was not an easy sleeper either so we are somewhat experienced with this but it's been a few years.

Speaking of bedtime...I need to go there myself. We have family pictures tomorrow so hopefully Mr. Jay-R sleeps in late enough and is well rested!

Have a Happy, Blessed Easter to all!

Snow in April

Let it snow? Depends who you are talking to...Jay-R was sooo excited this morning when he awoke to find snow on the ground. Thankfully, we did not end up with the 8 inches my in-laws were blessed with but we had an all day snow that melted away quickly. Jay-R was mesmerized by the falling flakes. I took his picture right away in the morning in fear that it might melt away by later in the day. He doesn't look very awake in the picture but I love the picture of him touching the snow on the ground.

He survived his first shopping day with Mommy and Lola. I'm not a big shopper but there are certain stores I love and have been known to spend upwards of 4 hours at in one shopping trip! Today was only an hour and Lola was a huge help. I was able to find dress pants for Jay-R, swimming trunks (he saw them and said "swimming pool"-they are 2T and slightly big on him...he's 5!), Spiderman tennis shoes, dress shoes, a dress outfit for me for the banquet at work next week, and something for Daddy and Ate Ashleigh. We also bought some cheap games which we played tonight and he seemed to enjoy. Before we left the city, we stopped at the Asian Grocery store and bought a few things. Jay-R loved the mango cookies and dried mango. We'll be stopping there often! They also had the Mexican mango that is sweeter and more like the Filipino mango which we are all (minus Daddy) missing!

The past few nights have not been easy when it comes to bedtime. Kory and I decided last night that we need a different approach. We have been reading stories to him in his bed and then laying down with him until he falls asleep only he hasn't been wanting to sleep. Tonight, I decided we would read stories in the comfy rocking chair downstairs and then rock. He really likes to cuddle and he missed that while he was growing up. He wanted held like a baby. We prayed together and he even prayed that he loved all his family...too sweet. I sang him to sleep and he fell asleep very peacefully. Right now, he is sleeping peacefully in his bed and I can work on the photos I need for our first post placement social work visit this week. We are learning as we go but networking with other adoptive parents is soo helpful and lots of prayer!

Life is full of changes....

It's been a few days...we had some rough moments and I didn't really feel like blogging the past few days. We have had some very intense meltdown moments but they are getting better. I think he is learning to trust us more every day and figure out his place in our home and his boundaries and feeling reassured that we are here for him. Yesterday, he was really upset with me that he couldn't have a lollipop for breakfast. I explained we don't eat candy for breakfast which resulted in a huge meltdown moment...he hadn't slept well and I know he was tired so that did not help the situation. During these moments, we reassure him that we love him, that we are here forever while also explaining the expectations such as no hitting, no candy for breakfast, etc. We ended up having a great time at Lola's and a friend's house until another meltdown at dinner. Today, we were virtually meltdown free minus the usual bedtime stuff...he has decided lately he's not tired so the once 8 pm bedtime is turning into 10 pm before he will fall asleep! He told me tonight at bedtime, "No candy. Candy later. Chocolate later." He was so serious and so proud of himself that he knew that. He is such a sweet, loving little boy. (This has nothing to do with anything above, but I don't think I mentioned that last week when we were outside, he blessed us all with water and said a Catholic prayer for each of us! I videotaped the moment...such a sweet, precious child!)

Yesterday on the way to my mom's, he looked at a building we were passing and said, "I love and then he named his orphanage. Today, he named a new teddy bear after a friend from the orphanage. We have also made the decision to keep his last name as his middle name and then he will take our last name as his. He has learned to say his new full name and he loves to repeat it over and over. Today, he named off children from the orphanage and then added Allison to their name. Oh, how I wish we could take all his friends...so many sweet children! We all love this little boy so much and all he brings to our family. When he grieves, we grieve with him. I cry every time I watch his videos from the orphanage. He is such a brave little boy and is doing so well for the many changes in his life. Today, he wanted to go out to our swimming pool...poor child, he can't quite get used to the change of cold weather and that's one change I can't do a thing about!

Tomorrow he will meet more family and Sunday will go to his first Sunday morning church service. We are all adjusting to our new roles, schedules, and routines. I will try to post some more pictures this weekend but they are on my other computer.