Settling into the School Routine with Smiles :)

The First Day of School

Ashleigh and her two friends taking their first steps toward their first day at middle school!

The First Day of School Picture: Ashleigh

The First Day of School Picture: Jay-R

Checking out his locker at Open House

Well, school is going better than my post a few days ago. Jay-R's teacher called me on his second day to share that he is on task, always does what she asks the first time, and is social with the other kids. She said she was getting ready to remind him to get his lunch when he said, "I need to get my lunch!" He is talking a little more about what he does at school. The behavior at home is pretty much back to normal and he is going to bed soo much better because he's super tired! We are slowly settinling into our new routines. Ashleigh is surviving at middle school. She misses her best friend who is at another school. She has talked to her on the phone...the other school is only 20 minutes away so it's not like they will never see each other again. Ash is finding other people to hang with at school but I can tell she really misses O. She'll get through it, though. Soon we'll be into the soccer season and life will be busy! For now, we are enjoying a relatively quiet and cool (grrr...where did the summer heat go?) weekend.

A Very Emotional Day

Today is almost over, and I am glad. I feel so emotionally drained. Jay-R started kindergarten today. He did awesome at his open house last night and even showed his teacher his ornery side. This morning, he did fine when I dropped him off-no tears, no clinginess. Ashleigh and her two friends walked to school today-her first day of middle school! She found out Sunday night her best friend was changing schools and she was crushed. She has never experienced a friend moving/changing schools. But, the morning started off okay.

We had a baseball fundraiser luncheon at work today so I was outside all day. It was warm...yeah, but being in the sun for about 3 hours straight gave me a massive headache that I am actually still dealing with.

When I picked Jay-R up from daycare (the school bus takes him there after school), he didn't want to talk about kindergarten. His entire packed lunch was left untouched so somehow he ended up buying today. He told me he tried the applesauce. I plan to pack his lunch almost daily since he is such a picky and slow eater. I'm not sure how it happened that his lunch was left in the locker but I wrote his teacher a note to address this concern. Anyways, this triggered a massive meltdown/shutdown moment. It was as if it were March and we had just returned from the Philippines. The meltdown behavior...hitting, kicking, pulling away, refusing to look at us, etc was all there. I tried to hold him and talk to him but he needed some time to himself. Finally, I scooped him up and took him to the dinner table and fed him his dinner on my lap. This calmed him. We all reassured him that just because he was starting kindergarten, we would all still be there for him, would still take care of him. He finally opened up and talked a little about the lunch thing and said he didn't know he was supposed to get his lunch from his locker. At daycare, they bring his lunch to him so I'm sure he was unsure about what to do and maybe no one else in his class packed. He ate really well at supper...I'm sure he was ravenous!

Then, off to his first soccer practice. We are coaching his team. That went well and he had a great practice, was social and interacted well with the other kids, and said he loved soccer. After soccer, he had a snack and took a bath. He melted down again...although this time was more whining...when I told him no more snacks, it was time for bed. After stories, he actually told me he was tired and he fell asleep in record time...probably 30 seconds.

I knew the transition to kindergarten wouldn't be easy, and I was anticipating a rough week. The meltdowns are hard...emotionally draining. It's hard to experience that just home feeling again. The adjustment is huge, though...a change in routine, new faces, the unsureness. He has a new teacher at daycare, too, so this adds yet another change. He did think the bus ride was cool, but that is something new. I know kindergarten is a big step for all kids but considering the changes he has experienced in less than 6 months, it is no wonder. I've been reading through that adoption book, and yes, I believe that all kids are unique and individual, but Jay-R's reaction really fits the description of major transitions the author describes.

So, my day has been emotionally draining. Ashleigh's day went okay. I was worried about her, too. I'm not complaining or whining...it's just a mother's heart to want to fix everything for her kids. And, it's just hard to see him go through these meltdowns again, and it's hard to be on the receiving end of these. We want to help Jay-R, encourage him to share what he feels in words, and reassure him. I want kindergarten to be a positive experience and sixth grade as well. We're committed to and love both of our kids so much. We'll take it day by day! Hopefully, we'll have a positive report to share soon! :)

Fossil Hunting

We ventured Saturday to Fossil Park. Ashleigh and her friend had learned about the nearby park in a class at school. We're not big into fossil hunting and didn't really know what we were looking for, but we thought it would be something fun, interesting, and different to do. Despite the unseasonable chill in the air, it was fun. We found a lot of fossils with shells. I guess this park is only one in 3 I think in the world where you can go and fossil hunt. The dirt and rock are brought from nearby quarries that are rich in fossil rock.

Jay-R was determined he could lift this rock. He had us all laughing along with some nearby fossil hunters.

Some helpful information for fossil illiterate people like us...

Studying something in the rock...I think a worm!

The girls taking a break from digging.

Being silly as usual!

I love pictures like these!

Transition Trials

We had a pretty good weekend. I have pictures to share from our fossil hunting experience but I haven't uploaded them yet and at the moment, I want to share about our "transition trials." Just when Jay-R is comfortable with his routine of daycare/preschool M-W-F and Grandma's T-Th, his life is about to change. He starts kindergarten on Tuesday. In our town, our kindergarten is all day, every day. After kindergarten, he will take a bus to daycare until we are off work. He'll have homework, soccer practices starting, new faces to get used to, and new routines. He hasn't really talked about it much, and I wasn't sure what he was really thinking about everything. Friday night, he cried at bedtime for a long time. Finally, we let him sleep on a blanket on our bedroom floor. (Our bed is not big enough for a sleep kicking youngster). Today, we've had a couple of meltdown moments similar to those we experienced shortly after returning home from the Philippines although not as intense. He cried, wouldn't look at me, and then after about 5 minutes, flung himself around my neck and hugged me tight saying, "Mommy!" Earlier, he had taken the large Filipino flag a young volunteer at my work made and hid it in the corner of his room. When I asked him why he was hiding it, he said, "I don't want it." I know it's normal for him to want to fit in. I know he's uncertain about what to expect at kindergarten. Later, after the crying issue, he spotted a picture on our nightstand of the three of us on a chairlift in Gatlinburg, Tennessee where we are going over Labor Day weekend. He was really interested. He is intrigued by mountains. We looked at a photo album with him of our vacation to Tennessee in 2006 to show him some of the things he would see. The last page of the scrapbook is a picture of our van pulling the camper that our friends took as they followed us down the road. He pointed to it and said, "I'm in there." We told him "No, you were still at White Cross." And then later tonight, he talked about being a baby at White Cross and how they took care of him. This little boy has been through so many changes in his life. I'm sure the uncertainty of what to expect at kindergarten is causing some anxiety. We keep sharing about it and reassuring him. Ashleigh showed him a picture of his kindergarten teacher and he thought that was cool. So, this could be a rough week for us, but we'll get through it. Ashleigh starts middle school and is a little nervous about this, too. So, like I said, this could be a rough week for all of us but we'll get through! Oh, and I promise I will post those fossil hunting pictures later this week.

Yummy Banana Que!

While at Camp Muhubay, the adults did a Filipino cooking session making banana que (pronounced Q). We decided this would make a great family cooking project. First, you start with some plantains...yellow with some dark spots. You can't use regular bananas.

You cut them in half (with a child safe knife of course).

You roll them in sugar...we used Sugar in the Raw brand because that's what they demonstrated at the cooking session. The sugar crystals are larger.

Then, you fry them in oil. We used regular canola oil.

While they are cooking and cooling, you find something interesting to do like cut out the ABC letters with your daddy to practice them for kindergarten.

The finished yummy product. You can use the wooden bamboo skewers to eat them on a stick. We didn't have any so we ate them with a fork. Our whole family loved them! We bought some more plantains from the store but they are green so we will have to wait a few days for them to ripen. Delicious!!!

Fever and Night Terrors

What a weekend...Ashleigh had a low grade fever most of the weekend and an upset stomach. Finally, today the fever was down and she was feeling well enough to do some school shopping. We hit Old Navy, Kohl's, and Target. I think we have what we need to start off the school year. Of course the Kohl's gift card I ordered with my credit card points was in the mailbox after our shopping trip, but oh, well, Jay-R needs new shoes yet so I guess I'll make another trip to Kohl's. His feet are growing.

Jay-R had terrible night terrors both Friday and Saturday night. He had similar experiences when we first came home from the Philippines and I didn't realize they were actually night terrors until talking to some parents who had also adopted and described their children's night terrors. Their experiences were exactly what Jay-R experiences. During these moments, he screams, kicks, and is still asleep. Kory tried to console him as he was still awake downstairs and heard Jay-R first, but he didn't calm down until Mommy came in. I almost have to gently shake him and quietly tell it's mommy and everything is okay before he calms down during these moments. I think it happened 4 times Friday night and 3 times Saturday night. It seems like if he is overly tired, they are more likely to happen. I've googled night terrors and done a little reading about them to try and understand them more. He doesn't remember it at all in the morning.

Well, tomorrow marks one week until school starts. I'll have one in kindergarten and one starting middle school. Exciting times...

More Summer Pics

Ashleigh wasn't feeling so hot tonight...low grade fever. Jay-R sat by her to help her feel better.

One of Jay-R's favorite books right now is "Just Me and My Mom" by Mercer Mayer. He had a "just me and mom" day on Weds. We started at a local metropark and had a picnic. He played on the playground for a short while, walked by the lake, and then I took him to the indoor area thinking he would enjoy climbing on the fake sand dune and playing in the tree. Only the problem was....no one else was in there and it was quiet, I mean quiet. I love quiet, but to a young boy from Manila which has to be one of the loudest, busiest non-stop cities in the world, the quiet still freaks him out. This is a complete forced smile in the picture. He was peeking out at a squirrel and some birds but he wasn't too sure about being inside of there. Even after 5 months, he can't quite handle quiet yet.

His personality shining through...ornery!

Vacation Bible School...a whole week of song, crafts, fun snacks, and overall fun while learning about Bible stories and Jesus. We learned that Jay-R is quite the dancer. He never ceases to amaze me. Now that he has been here awhile and is comfortable, his true personality is shining...quite the social little guy! Ashleigh has matured and grown so much this summer. Many people in the church and other places have commented that they don't even recognize her! She has grown taller, thinned out, gotten contacts and braces, her hair has lightened and she has lost all the little girl look. I was so proud of both of them...they did a great job at the program.

This was Jay-R's first baseball game. We have a minor league team near us, the Toledo Mud Hens. The game lasted a long time due to a slow start and then a tied score in the 9th. A Mud Hen player hit a homerun to win the game. We did the wave and other crazy things as they prepared for the fireworks show. The crazy green hats were a free giveaway that night.

Chronological Age vs. Family Age

I'm reading an adoption book-Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child by Patty Cogen. I had checked it out from the library before we traveled to get Jay-R and had read some of it but reading it now, it makes a whole lot more sense. I wished I would have had a chance to read the entire book before we returned from the Philippines. Anyways, there is a very interesting concept she discusses in the book that has really made me think about some of Jay-R's reactions to things. There are times, he goes from acting like the 5 year old he is to a 2 year old within minutes. It's like he is going through different maturity/developmental stages within minutes. Of course, this all ties into the past experiences he has experienced of loss, etc. What really struck me was the concept of chronological age vs. family age. Family age defined as the length of time the child has been with the family. She states that a child adopted internationally has been using survival skills but must now learn how to use family skills, or in other words, what it means to be part of a family. So, in our case, Jay-R is really 5 years old, but his family age is 5 months. She goes on to state that you should respond to your child's family age when a tantrum, etc. happens, and it may seem like you are babying your child in your response but that will help your child developmentally and in forming his/her identity. Kory and I discussed this and it all makes sense. Jay-R is learning how to be part of a family, what his role is, and what this means. We struggle with how much to do for him knowing he missed out on the one on one hands on care when he was younger yet also knowing he will be starting kindergarten and will need to do some tasks independently. For instance, sometimes he will dress himself and sometimes he absolutely insists on needing help. Really, he has and continues to bond and attach really well to us, but the concept of family age helps us in knowing how to deal best with his tantrums and emotional outbursts when they happen. I can't wait to find time to read more of the book. It's only $10 on Amazon. com and I am planning on ordering it as soon as I find time to do so. It's waiting in my shopping cart! I highly recommend this book.

Pray for Baby Annabelle

Please pray for Baby Annabelle. Her family lives in our community. She has a heart condition. Her family is asking for prayers...here is the link to their blog...

http://annabellameyers.blogspot.com/


Hug your children and thank God for them. It has to be sooo hard to see your children suffer but God hears prayers!

Why? Why? Why?

Every child goes through the "why" stage, and Jay-R has entered this stage. Everything I tell him to do, I mean everything, is followed by a "why." I explain once, I explain twice, then by the third time, a simple "Because I said so" is the answer he gets. It's funny watching him go through these stages. The no stage, the why stage, etc. Since he has only been with us a few months and he is learning English, the stages that toddlers go through, he is going through. For instance, a lot of two year olds go through the "no" stage where "no" is the favorite reply to everything. Jay-R went through that stage about 2 weeks-3 weeks after we got home. It didn't last long. So, I'm hoping the "why" stage doesn't last long. It's one thing to be curious about something and another to say "why" to every little thing. But isn't that face with the fudgesicle beard cute...

Noticeable Changes

Jay-R has been home with us for about 5 months and wow, the changes we have seen. The biggest I have noticed this week alone is his willingness to go to people he knows are "safe" and how he seems less overwhelmed in large crowds. He is doing awesome at Vacation Bible School with his teachers and the sessions. He loves it! He loves his church and seems to feel at home there and knows everyone is safe and loves him.

Tonight, was our annual family picnic at the nursing home where I work. There are usually between 300-400 people there in attendance. He easily warmed up to my co-workers. He played games with the kids. He sat by himself while daddy and sister were off helping with something (where he could see me) and ate some watermelon. And, he dressed up as Batman and danced while the band played. Wow, he has grown in so many ways.

On Friday when Kory picked him up from daycare, the teacher commented, "Wow, what a change in that little boy." When I drop him off in the morning, I no longer have to peel him off me...he easily and excitably goes to his teacher and friends. And, yes his girlfriend. He talks about his "girlfriend" all the time!

I am excited to see these changes especially since he starts kindergarten in the fall, but all this independence makes me a little sad. My baby is growing up already! But, I am so happy he has bonded and attached so well. He looked in the mirror the other night and said, "I love God, I love Mommy, I love Daddy, I love Ate." It doesn't get any better than that!

Recent Pictures of Summer Fun

Recent summer fun...more zoo adventures, the lake, and our town's summer festival. I'll have to post pics from this weekend later this week. Jay-R experienced his first American baseball game. This week, our church is doing Vacation Bible School...another new experience for Jay-R. I was just thinking tonight...I remember last year at VBS, I had this longing, this ache in my heart of knowing my son or daughter wasn't here yet and wondering if he or she would be at VBS the next summer. Well, it was just less than one month from that time, we found out about Jay-R. And yes, this summer at VBS, we have our son/brother joining in the fun!