A Lesson on Listening...

Listening continues to be one of Jay-R's biggest struggles. He always seems to have his own agenda and needs to find out the answer for himself which gets him into trouble at times. He is a bundle of non-stop energy, so much different from Ashleigh who is quiet at school.

Well, today at school Jay-R had to pull 3 tickets. To explain, each ticket is a warning...four tickets equals a trip to see the principal. Apparently, he was silly in class and had some trouble listening. Kory and I had a heart to heart serious talk about the importance of listening to his teacher and doing as he is told. We tried to explain the importance of why he needs to learn in terms he could understand. Sometimes, upcoming changes trigger behaviors in him. I don't say this to excuse the behaviour, it just helps us to understand maybe the reason behind it which helps us address it with him. Tomorrow is his teacher's last day before her 3 month pregnancy leave. He knows the sub he will have, but nonetheless, it is a change for him, and changes still kind of freak him out.

So, we talked a lot about this. Ashleigh helped him make his teacher a card and helped him write that he was sorry for not listening. At bedtime, he told me, "Mommy, I don't like being in trouble." I explained to him that all he has to do is listen and follow directions and he won't be in trouble. I told him that he needs to learn so he can grow-up to be a policeman (his current future job endeavor). He then proceeded to name all the things that policemen need to do like knowing how to write.

When he gets older, he'll probably have a fit that I shared his ornery side with the whole world, but hopefully we'll be able to look back and see how far he has come. We love this silly boy, but there is a time for silliness and a time for seriousness. Parenting is day by day learn as you go...each child is different!!! Jay-R is full of personality!!!

More Waiting....

If there is one thing that adoption does, that is to teach a person patience! You complete all your documents, mail them off, and then wait to hear you were accepted. Then, you wait for the referral. Then you get the referral and then you wait for everything to fall into place so you can travel. Lots of waiting.

Now, we are waiting for our court date to finalize Jay-R's adoption...the last official step to the adoption process. We've been told that Filipino adoption is unique because most adoptions finalize in the international country whereas Filipino adoption finalizes in the adoptive parents' country. Our lawyer has mailed the necessary documents to our county court. So, now we wait for a court date. First, we have to present the official documents to the court before the actual court date. This way, the official docs never actually leave our hands. Then, we will be given an actual court date. We are hoping all this occurs before the end of the year. What an awesome Christmas present to know that everything is final and complete!

For now, more waiting!

Weekend Recap

The weekend was wonderful. We had a great time Friday night. Jay-R did tell me that the pancuit didn't look like pancuit...I told him that Mommy did her best...and he happily ate a lot of it...in fact, he ate a lot of everything that night! That boy is growing.

Saturday, we had a great time at one of our favorite restaurant...the Back 40 Junction. I forgot my camera :( There is an old caboose car you can climb into and look around. Jay-R thought it was funny the old toilet was still in there, too!

Sunday, Kory wasn't feeling well so just the kids and I went to church. It was a beautiful day out and we enjoyed just relaxing. Kory and I finally got some pictures hung on the wall that had been sitting on the floor since June. Both of the kids have brought home their school pictures...they both have changed so much since we had pictures taken in April.

This weekend is the big birthday party. Ashleigh's birthday is in December so we are having a combined family party for their birthdays. Jay-R invited his friends, too. Ashleigh wants to have her schoolfriends for a sleepover when her birthday gets closer. We rented an indoor playarea at a local church so the kids can run off their energy and the adults can sit and relax.

What made me sad this weekend was that Jay-R said he wanted to invite Jaymark to his birthday party. Jaymark was his best bud from Whitecross. It made me so sad to hear him say that. I told him I would do what I could to find out where Jaymark is. I have hope because one of his friends adopted before him has located us and we are keeping in touch and plan to get together this summer.

Okay, back to helping Ashleigh on her 6th grade chemistry homework again...I feel like I'm in Chem 101 in college again!

Happy 6th Birthday, Jay-R!

Happy Birthday precious, silly boy that we love so much! We are so happy that today is your special day!!!

Last year on this day, we celebrated with a cake and prayed for our little boy who was half-way around the world. We prayed and we cried. Today, he is with us! For everyone waiting for your referral or to travel to get your child, have faith that your moment to share with your child will come soon!

We are celebrating with Jay-R by taking McDonald's to him at school and eating lunch with him. Tonight, some family is coming over for dinner. I am doing my best attempt at making his favorite Filipino foods: chicken adobo, pancuit, Filipino style spaghetti, Jasmine rice, and banana que. He also requested something with chocolate and peanut butter so we are having choco-PB brownies. Yummy!

Some Fall & Halloween Pics

Jay-R has been wanting to jump in leaves, and we have no trees in our yard. Trick or treat night, he kept trying to jump in people's leaves, and I had to explain that he might upset someone who spent hours raking! So, on Sunday, we visited my cousin's house who has tons of trees. He had a blast!

Showing off all his candy! His eyes were big!

My mom and dad stopped by to the see the grandkids and deliver some Halloween treats. Jay-R was Batman, and Ashleigh was chef. Ash threw together her costume in 15 minutes. They were both rather cute!

Doesn't he look tough!

Pumpkin carving night!

Daddy and Jay-R busy taking out the oozy, gooey pumpkin guts!

Melts my heart...

We were hanging out on the couch this morning, eating breakfast, watching Saturday morning cartoons, and just enjoying not having anywhere to go. Jay-R looked at me, gave me a great big hug, and said, "Thanks for coming to get me, Mommy."

Melted my heart. We talk about his adoption and his life in the Philippines openly. To hear him say that, just melted my heart. He understands that he is adopted, and that it's okay to be adopted. It helps, too, that in our small community, there are several children who are adopted in his kindergarten grade.

In the next sentence, he says, "Mommy, I want a bigger house so I can have a brother and another sister." Um, we'll have to see on that one...

Interesting Reflections on Structure...

After living in such a structured environment much of his life, Jay-R's life is now much less structured. Yes, there are routines and structure at school, daycare, and within our normal day to day living, but nothing like what he experienced at the orphanage where everything in a typical day was on a schedule. It seems like now he sometimes struggle with what to do with himself when there is not structure. For instance, at parent teacher conferences, his teacher said he does great in circle time but when doing independent desk work, he often asks to go to the bathroom and is gone awhile. And, after swim lessons, it takes him forever to come out of the boys locker room. At home, he is doing better with being able to play independently with his toys in his room, but he seldom plays independently longer than 20 minutes or so. I suppose he will become more and more used to this independent, unstructured time as he goes along day by day. And of course, he is a typical 5 year old boy full of energy! His teacher commented on how many of the other staff are amazed by his ability to tie his shoes (he often ties other children's shoes) and the gross motor skills in gym-running, skipping-things that many of the other children still struggle with. We assume this comes from having to do things for himself with so few caregivers with so many children. At home, he often won't do things by himself, though. He likes to be cared for. While we think it is important that he do some things on his own, we also understand his need to be cared for since he missed out on so much of this in his younger years. Adoption is an amazing journey. Jay-R continues to challenge us and amaze us each and every day. We love this little guy. It helps to try to look at things from his point of view to try to help him adjust to these new experiences.

Oh, a cute little ending story...Jay-R came home from the church Harvest party tonight with a bag of candy. He wasn't going to show Daddy where it was in fear that Daddy might eat his candy...Daddy has quite the sweet tooth. Jay-R can't keep secrets so he showed Daddy where his candy was. He decided to give Daddy a piece. Daddy wanted something Jay-R didn't want to give up. Jay-R looked at his Daddy and said, "Stop. You're driving me crazy!" I guess he has heard me say one too many times, "Those dogs are driving me crazy!" The things they pick up on!