Today is almost over, and I am glad. I feel so emotionally drained. Jay-R started kindergarten today. He did awesome at his open house last night and even showed his teacher his ornery side. This morning, he did fine when I dropped him off-no tears, no clinginess. Ashleigh and her two friends walked to school today-her first day of middle school! She found out Sunday night her best friend was changing schools and she was crushed. She has never experienced a friend moving/changing schools. But, the morning started off okay.
We had a baseball fundraiser luncheon at work today so I was outside all day. It was warm...yeah, but being in the sun for about 3 hours straight gave me a massive headache that I am actually still dealing with.
When I picked Jay-R up from daycare (the school bus takes him there after school), he didn't want to talk about kindergarten. His entire packed lunch was left untouched so somehow he ended up buying today. He told me he tried the applesauce. I plan to pack his lunch almost daily since he is such a picky and slow eater. I'm not sure how it happened that his lunch was left in the locker but I wrote his teacher a note to address this concern. Anyways, this triggered a massive meltdown/shutdown moment. It was as if it were March and we had just returned from the Philippines. The meltdown behavior...hitting, kicking, pulling away, refusing to look at us, etc was all there. I tried to hold him and talk to him but he needed some time to himself. Finally, I scooped him up and took him to the dinner table and fed him his dinner on my lap. This calmed him. We all reassured him that just because he was starting kindergarten, we would all still be there for him, would still take care of him. He finally opened up and talked a little about the lunch thing and said he didn't know he was supposed to get his lunch from his locker. At daycare, they bring his lunch to him so I'm sure he was unsure about what to do and maybe no one else in his class packed. He ate really well at supper...I'm sure he was ravenous!
Then, off to his first soccer practice. We are coaching his team. That went well and he had a great practice, was social and interacted well with the other kids, and said he loved soccer. After soccer, he had a snack and took a bath. He melted down again...although this time was more whining...when I told him no more snacks, it was time for bed. After stories, he actually told me he was tired and he fell asleep in record time...probably 30 seconds.
I knew the transition to kindergarten wouldn't be easy, and I was anticipating a rough week. The meltdowns are hard...emotionally draining. It's hard to experience that just home feeling again. The adjustment is huge, though...a change in routine, new faces, the unsureness. He has a new teacher at daycare, too, so this adds yet another change. He did think the bus ride was cool, but that is something new. I know kindergarten is a big step for all kids but considering the changes he has experienced in less than 6 months, it is no wonder. I've been reading through that adoption book, and yes, I believe that all kids are unique and individual, but Jay-R's reaction really fits the description of major transitions the author describes.
So, my day has been emotionally draining. Ashleigh's day went okay. I was worried about her, too. I'm not complaining or whining...it's just a mother's heart to want to fix everything for her kids. And, it's just hard to see him go through these meltdowns again, and it's hard to be on the receiving end of these. We want to help Jay-R, encourage him to share what he feels in words, and reassure him. I want kindergarten to be a positive experience and sixth grade as well. We're committed to and love both of our kids so much. We'll take it day by day! Hopefully, we'll have a positive report to share soon! :)
6 comments:
I really feel for you Tammy. When our children are hurting it weighs on you so much. He'll soon be making new friends and and will look forward to school, but the transition is so hard.
I started reading the same adoption book yesterday that you recommended. Finally a book that is more specific to our situation. So many books are written about adopting infants.
I'll be praying for you this week.
I can only imagine how tough yesterday was for Jay-R and your family in general. Poor guy, I am sure all of the transitions were exhausting. I hope to hear that the rest of the week goes better and maybe you will get some smiles from him. :)
Wow, that is really tough. Those meltdowns are ridiculously hard, and I'm sorry that you are having to go through it again. I like to think that after the really rough ones, when Eze sees that we're still with him, it makes our bond a little bit stronger. I hope the same is true for you and Jay-R. Hoping that the days start getting better and better.
p.s. SO excited things are working out for next summer!!!!
I really hope that things improve with regards to the transition into kindergarten. I'm sure once Jay-R realizes what is expected of him, he'll become more comfortable and hopefully his meltdowns will decrease. I can't imagine how difficult those moments must be. Take care.
It sounds like the week got off to kind of a rough start! Those transition periods are hard for everybody...but they're especially difficult for adopted children!! I can only imagine what those meltdowns must be like for you and your family. Kids are generally pretty resilient though and they adapt quickly. Both Jay-R and Ashleigh will adapt to their new schools and make new friends soon enough...they just need some time to adjust!! It will probably be a rough few weeks at the beginning, as everybody transitions, but soon you guys will have a new routine and schedule going, and things will fall into place on their own. Just hang in there with them :0)
I know the feeling of helplessness now during the meltdown and I feel for you. We are going to try school in a few weeks also. I hope you have better days soon.
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