The past two nights have been, um, what's the word...a bit frustrating.
They have been struggles of power. Who's in control here?
Jay-R: "I want another story."
Me: "Sorry, honey. It's already pass your bedtime. We'll read another one tomorrow."
Jay-R; "I want a story NOW!"
Okay....well, we didn't read that other story tonight either because...
Me: "Honey, it's time for bed."
Jay-R: "I don't want to go to bed, I want to stay up late!"
on and on and on....
These kind of nights are frustrating. He is defiant, finds out he is not getting his way, and then becomes teary while still being angry. We eventually end with the "I'm sorries" and good-night kisses with promises of I still love you, will always love you, but you're still not watching TV tomorrow-that's called punishment.
Life lessons and disciplining in love....leaves me hoping for better sweet dreams tomorrow!!!! I know I pushed my parents' buttons and had my own moments of defiance. Guess it all comes back to us!!!
And someday, I will add some new pics...I promise!
Friday, May 21, 2010
Thursday, May 6, 2010
A Moment of Quiet Reflection
Quiet...besides the low humming of the refrigerator and the "thinking" sounds of the computer, all is quiet here. Two children are in bed asleep along with one hubby with a headache as well as both dogs. It is pure bliss-quiet...something I haven't heard much of lately.
I need these moments of quiet solitude. Our life has been soo busy lately thus resulting in the lack of my blogging time. When I'm not at work, we're at the soccer fields, baseball diamonds, church, assisting with 6th grade math homework that resembles math I did in 8th grade...life doesn't slow down. And I'm okay right now with this. I know my children will grow up too fast and then I will have lots of moments of quiet like this. And in those times, I will wish for the yelling of "Mom!", feet running down the stairs, and even the arguing between brother and sister.
I guess I'm a little reflective right now with Mother's Day approaching. I think of Lucy a lot, Jay-R's birth mommy. No, we never met her. We know very little about her. But, I believe that she loved her little boy, and I hope she wanted more than anything for someone to love him and to take care of him in a way she wasn't able to. Regardless of the circumstances that brought Jay-R to the orphanage, there is one reality that remains. Without his birth mommy, I could not be his mommy. And for that, I am forever grateful to this woman. I hope all moms and waiting moms have a wonderful Mother's Day this weekend. And for all moms that have had to make the difficult decision for someone else to love their babies, thank you for allowing us to be moms.
I need these moments of quiet solitude. Our life has been soo busy lately thus resulting in the lack of my blogging time. When I'm not at work, we're at the soccer fields, baseball diamonds, church, assisting with 6th grade math homework that resembles math I did in 8th grade...life doesn't slow down. And I'm okay right now with this. I know my children will grow up too fast and then I will have lots of moments of quiet like this. And in those times, I will wish for the yelling of "Mom!", feet running down the stairs, and even the arguing between brother and sister.
I guess I'm a little reflective right now with Mother's Day approaching. I think of Lucy a lot, Jay-R's birth mommy. No, we never met her. We know very little about her. But, I believe that she loved her little boy, and I hope she wanted more than anything for someone to love him and to take care of him in a way she wasn't able to. Regardless of the circumstances that brought Jay-R to the orphanage, there is one reality that remains. Without his birth mommy, I could not be his mommy. And for that, I am forever grateful to this woman. I hope all moms and waiting moms have a wonderful Mother's Day this weekend. And for all moms that have had to make the difficult decision for someone else to love their babies, thank you for allowing us to be moms.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Adoption thoughts from Jay-R's mind...
Little glimpses into Jay-R's mind...
Kory and I talk occasionally about wanting to return to the Philippines to visit. There are things we didn't have time to do when we visited and places we want to see yet. Also, we have met friends that we miss and want to visit with again. We want to wait until Jay-R is a little older so he can understand and appreciate his roots.
The other night, we mentioned something about the Philippines when we were driving in the car.
Jay-R says, "I don't want to go back to the Philippines. I don't want to go to White Cross."
To which, we both reassured him that it would just be for a visit and that we would be with him.
He says, "They will think I am bad if I come back."
Of course we reassured him that we would only stay for the day and we would be with him the entire time. We reminded him about our friend who visited White Cross last summer and brought gifts for his friends, and how happy they were to see pictures of him with his family in America.
It makes us wonder what goes on in his little mind, what he has experienced, what he has witnessed...maybe a child did come back because of an adoption that didn't work out.
We know he is completely at home here. There just must be something in his mind that elicits insecurity when he hears mention of a return visit to the Philippines. Makes me want to hug him tight, kiss his cheek, and tell him over and over we love him.
And yet another glimpse into his mind...
Tonight at dinner, he said, "Mommy, I wish I was born in your belly."
To which I said, "Jay-R you might not have been born in my belly, but you were born in my heart. Who gave you to me?"
Jay-R: "Jesus."
Mommy: "Yes, Jay-R. Jesus gave Ate to us in my belly, and you to us in my heart. But, the important thing is that Jesus gave you both to us in His way."
Then, we looked at his school yearbook and pointed out other boys and girls at his school who had also been born in their mommies' hearts. This seemed to satisfy him.
I pray a lot that God will give us the words when he asks questions like that. We talk openly about his adoption and his birth mother. We really want him to have a strong sense of identity. And God really did give us Jay-R in my heart. 2003, the year Jay-R was born, was the year we decided we were ready for another child, the year I shed many tears because of a dream that seemed like it would never come true. Little did we know that God was fulfilling our dream half-way around the world.
We have been insanely busy with work schedules, soccer, church, and just random things. I have some cute pictures I'll try to post soon. He is growing!!!
Kory and I talk occasionally about wanting to return to the Philippines to visit. There are things we didn't have time to do when we visited and places we want to see yet. Also, we have met friends that we miss and want to visit with again. We want to wait until Jay-R is a little older so he can understand and appreciate his roots.
The other night, we mentioned something about the Philippines when we were driving in the car.
Jay-R says, "I don't want to go back to the Philippines. I don't want to go to White Cross."
To which, we both reassured him that it would just be for a visit and that we would be with him.
He says, "They will think I am bad if I come back."
Of course we reassured him that we would only stay for the day and we would be with him the entire time. We reminded him about our friend who visited White Cross last summer and brought gifts for his friends, and how happy they were to see pictures of him with his family in America.
It makes us wonder what goes on in his little mind, what he has experienced, what he has witnessed...maybe a child did come back because of an adoption that didn't work out.
We know he is completely at home here. There just must be something in his mind that elicits insecurity when he hears mention of a return visit to the Philippines. Makes me want to hug him tight, kiss his cheek, and tell him over and over we love him.
And yet another glimpse into his mind...
Tonight at dinner, he said, "Mommy, I wish I was born in your belly."
To which I said, "Jay-R you might not have been born in my belly, but you were born in my heart. Who gave you to me?"
Jay-R: "Jesus."
Mommy: "Yes, Jay-R. Jesus gave Ate to us in my belly, and you to us in my heart. But, the important thing is that Jesus gave you both to us in His way."
Then, we looked at his school yearbook and pointed out other boys and girls at his school who had also been born in their mommies' hearts. This seemed to satisfy him.
I pray a lot that God will give us the words when he asks questions like that. We talk openly about his adoption and his birth mother. We really want him to have a strong sense of identity. And God really did give us Jay-R in my heart. 2003, the year Jay-R was born, was the year we decided we were ready for another child, the year I shed many tears because of a dream that seemed like it would never come true. Little did we know that God was fulfilling our dream half-way around the world.
We have been insanely busy with work schedules, soccer, church, and just random things. I have some cute pictures I'll try to post soon. He is growing!!!
Thursday, April 8, 2010
He really is listening!
This morning when I dropped Jay-R off at school, I said, "Good-bye! Love you! Have a good day and listen to your teacher." As he gets out of the car, he replies, "Bye! Love you! Have a good day and listen to your boss!"
The things he comes up with....then it occurred to me. We had a conversation the other day about the importance of listening which he struggles with at times. I explained to him that even Mommy and Daddy have people we need to listen to. I named off policemen, the electric company (explaining why we have to pay our bill), and our bosses. Guess he was listening!!!!
The things he comes up with....then it occurred to me. We had a conversation the other day about the importance of listening which he struggles with at times. I explained to him that even Mommy and Daddy have people we need to listen to. I named off policemen, the electric company (explaining why we have to pay our bill), and our bosses. Guess he was listening!!!!
Monday, March 22, 2010
A Family
Last night, Jay-R and I were driving to church alone in the car. Out of nowhere, he says...
Jay-R: "Mommy, before you came to get me, I cried."
Me: "I'm sorry, honey. We cried a lot, too. We had to wait for all the paperwork to be ready before we could come get you."
Jay-R: "But now we're a family!"
Me: "Yes, honey, we're a forever family."
Awww...the moments that melt a mommy's heart. To all my bloggy friends waiting out there....the wait is worth it...hang in there!!! God's timing is best. I can't imagine having any other little child sweeter than our Jay-R.
Jay-R: "Mommy, before you came to get me, I cried."
Me: "I'm sorry, honey. We cried a lot, too. We had to wait for all the paperwork to be ready before we could come get you."
Jay-R: "But now we're a family!"
Me: "Yes, honey, we're a forever family."
Awww...the moments that melt a mommy's heart. To all my bloggy friends waiting out there....the wait is worth it...hang in there!!! God's timing is best. I can't imagine having any other little child sweeter than our Jay-R.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Celebrating one year
Last night, we celebrated one year with a kid friendly musical. Our family loves music, and Jay-R fits in perfectly as he loves music, too. We went to see Blue's Clue Live on stage. It was really cute. It was so much fun watching all the little kids get all excited. And Ashleigh wasn't alone in being the only big sibling who came along...I saw many others, too. We had a fun time and Jay-R can't wait to go to another musical.
And speaking of music, Jay-R played the drums at my band practice the other night. He may be getting a drum soon. Daddy says it's going in the basement!
It's hard to believe it's been one year. We can't imagine life without him. He brings a lot of laughter to our lives and yes, frustration, at times, too. He can be very stubborn and strong-willed. He has adjusted so well to his life here. He still misses Jaymark, his best buddy in the Philippines. We pray for him daily that he might have a family soon, too. Jay-R is very social-loves kindergarten, his church, all the family-he's a very loving little boy who loves to cuddle and loves attention. He has found a love of pizza loaded with meat, something he wouldn't touch when we first came home. He'll even eat broccoli with cheese now. So many changes in one year for all of us. Right now, I'm smiling as I watch him clean his room. He's doing a great job. He's knows tonight is allowance payday!
And speaking of music, Jay-R played the drums at my band practice the other night. He may be getting a drum soon. Daddy says it's going in the basement!
It's hard to believe it's been one year. We can't imagine life without him. He brings a lot of laughter to our lives and yes, frustration, at times, too. He can be very stubborn and strong-willed. He has adjusted so well to his life here. He still misses Jaymark, his best buddy in the Philippines. We pray for him daily that he might have a family soon, too. Jay-R is very social-loves kindergarten, his church, all the family-he's a very loving little boy who loves to cuddle and loves attention. He has found a love of pizza loaded with meat, something he wouldn't touch when we first came home. He'll even eat broccoli with cheese now. So many changes in one year for all of us. Right now, I'm smiling as I watch him clean his room. He's doing a great job. He's knows tonight is allowance payday!
Monday, March 15, 2010
Favorite First Moments
On the eve of our first anniversary with Jay-R, I thought I would post a few of our favorite first moments with him. I remember how we all felt a year ago this day waiting in our hotel for the day to pass in anticipation of meeting our little one. And, wow, a year has flown by!
The yellow book of our family photos that they said he carried everywhere, told stories about, and slept with at night.
The yellow book of our family photos that they said he carried everywhere, told stories about, and slept with at night.
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