Sweet Ending to a Rough Day

Today wasn't exactly the best day since we've been home. I still am not feeling 100 percent and I don't think Jay-R was feeling all that great either. Neither one of us ended up sleeping that well. He was up before 7 this morning. We went to storytime at the library this morning. He was shy which is to be expected...we've only been home a little over a week. He enjoyed playing on the little childrens' computers in the children section of the library. I don't think he has probably ever been on a computer. The little mouse for the computer is tiny so it fits his little hand. He played some matching, counting, and alphabet games and did really well after I showed him what to do. He catches on fast. It was after lunch, the meltdown began. He was upset about his fruit being thrown in the sink...mind you he had already thrown it in the sink and had no intention of eating it. He was one unhappy little boy. The meltdown ended in a 2 hour nap for him which he needed...I could tell he was tired. Later he was upset because I wouldn't pick him up when he wanted picked up....I've been carrying him all day and I needed to take a quick restroom break!!! So, that set off the start to another meltdown. Basically, he just wasn't real happy today. When Ate Ashleigh came home from school, he seemed happier and enjoyed interacting with her. We played some games after dinner as we awaited our visitors. Tonight, a Filipino exchange student, the coordinator, and another exchange student from Mongolia visited. Jay-R was thrilled with the gifts they brought and the cake. He was slow to warm up as usual when meeting new people but once he warmed up, he began talking up a storm. He chatted in tagalog back and forth with the exchange student. It was so good to hear them talking. He took her upstairs to his room and she read him a story in tagalog. He sang his song from the youtube video for them and then he sang some other songs in tagalog we found on youtube. He really needed this tonight. I know he misses his friends, his language, everything that is familiar to him. It has to be so hard and frustrating as a 5 year old to not know how to express what you are feeling or even to understand what you are feeling. I know the exchange student enjoyed interacting with him and using her language again. We plan to get together again. Right now I can hear Daddy reading stories to Jay-R and unfortunately, he doesn't sound too tired. Hopefully, bedtime isn't a fight but I think he is winding down from an evening he really enjoyed. It is so important to both of us that he maintain his culture, his sense of identity. That is who he is. He may be living in America now but he will always be a Filipino. We are hoping to host a Filipino exchange student in a couple of years, too.

Jay-R's World

Each day is full of new experiences for Jay-R. Our weather is 60 one day and then snowing the next so Jay-R experienced his first snowflakes of his life on Sunday. He was riding his bike with his Ate and some friends and came running in the house to tell Mommy, "Snow! Snow! Snow!" Ate had saved him some snow from an earlier winter blast in a freezer bag so he had fun playing with that, too. Goodness knows we had enough of it this winter! He had a busy weekend meeting the family and then went to church last night. He has done so well with new experiences. Today was also his first Mommy and Jay-R day and we had a good day. He wore off some energy this afternoon running around with Ashleigh's soccer team. He is quite the popular little boy!

We learn a little more about him every day, too. Like he likes eggs...surprised us all. We had breakfast for dinner tonight and he ate eggs...even asked for more! And he has acquired quite a liking for dipping things in ketchup just like Mommy and Ate!

Tonight, Daddy read him stories. This is a special Daddy and Jay-R time especially since Kory went back to work today. Kory read him a few stories tonight and he said Jay-R said, "Night night. Elo (light) off." And he went right to sleep. I am sooo thankful he goes to bed easily and tends to sleep 11 hours a night.

The pictures are from the past few days of meeting friends and family. As you can tell from the one picture, he looooves making things with playdough. (He is wearing a mask).When meeting new people, he is quiet at first, then warms up and shifts into show off mode! He is quite the little entertainer. He is loving all this attention just on him!

Love Technology!

Hello! We have almost been home one week and in that time I have managed to fall down the entire flight of my stairs, twist my ankle, and lose my voice! I would say what's next but someone told me to never ask that!

Yesterday was awesome...we were meltdown free. He just had a really good day. Thursday and today, we had meltdowns. I think he starts missing his friends and everyone at the orphanage and he doesn't know how to process or share those feelings with us so his meltdown mode sets in. He pushes us away and won't make eye contact. We just hold him close and tell him we love him and it's okay to be sad and miss his friends. The only thing that snaps him out of a meltdown is watching the videos from his orphanage (the love of technology!). They are from February so they are very recent. They just seem to bring him comfort and then he's okay. I always start crying during the videos because I know as much as he loves his new family, he is missing his old life. So many changes for him in such a short time. During the meltdowns, he tries to push us away, and that is soooo hard. We love this little boy and we will see him through each and every meltdown no matter how emotionally draining they can be!

He has met his lolos, lolas, titos, titas, and cousins this weekend. He did really well meeting all his extended family. Tonight while reading stories to him, Ate used names of his friends from the orphange and Jay-R also renamed some of the characters lolo and lola. There is such a bond between these two siblings. He held onto Ashleigh's shirt tonight...he was not letting her leave with the cousins!

I will try to post some pictures tomorrow of this weekend. He got a bike today with training wheels so Mommy and him will have lots of fun during the days ahead. Daddy goes back to work Monday so it will just be him and Mommy during the day.

One Day at a Time

Today was a really, really good day except that we were all exhausted and dealing with sore throats. Jay-R woke up at 12:30 last night and took forever to go back to sleep. I discovered he was itching his legs and further inspection, I found scratch marks on his little arms. The poor little guy had such dry skin probably from a combo of bubble baths and the furnace heat which he is not used to. I bought some good quality baby lotion and baby bubble bath for him and we see improvement already. After a failed attempt to get him back to sleep at 8 am, Kory and I decided to try very hard to not let him take a nap today. We played Play Doh, spent a long time at McDonald's play area (it was raining), visited his church so he could be familiar with it before we actually take him on Palm Sunday, took him to the doctor for his check-up, the park (it had stopped raining), and then the dinner and bath time routine. He was out by 7:45! We are all going to bed early tonight! He was happy today, very loving...he must have said, "I love you mommy" and "I love you daddy" a hundred times today. We had only the onset of meltdowns but he was easily diverted except he refused a bath tonight and would only allow a quick bath. I think he was beyond tired. He fell asleep during stories. Adoption is definitely a journey and each day we learn a little more about this amazing boy and ourselves, too. God is definitely the strength that gets us through the trying times along with the encouragement of others!

I am posting a few pictures. Jay-R loves to carry his Ate's umbrella. I told Kory I think it is something familiar to him. So many ladies carry umbrellas in the Philippines to shield themselves from heat so he has seen this before. The other pics are just silly pics of our family and then a pic from lunch today.

Okay, I have to get to bed. The advice, sleep when the baby sleeps also applies to newly adopted 5 year old boys, too!

Quick update

I have a quiet house....no dogs barking (they came home today) and sleeping children and a husband! Ahh...

Jay-R has had meltdowns, mainly when he is tired and when he doesn't get his way. He punches us with his little fists, bites, pinches....we just hold him tight and let him cry it out. We reassure him that we love him and will be there for him. These meltdowns are exhausting...

but there is joy, too...he goes to bed without any problems..goes right to sleep after a few stories, some quiet Bible song music in the background, and a goodnight kiss. Kory has been lying in bed with him until he falls asleep but he goes right to sleep. That is a huge blessing! He folds laundry with me, too, and nothing beats hearing, "I love you Mommy."

Ashleigh goes back to school tomorrow. She took Monday and Tuesday off to recover from jet lag, a sore throat, and an upset stomach. I jokingly told her she couldn't go back to school, that I would home-school her...I will miss her during the day...she is such a wonderful help and so good with her brother.

Oh, a little clarification...Ate is pronouced "Ahtay" not ate, the past tense of eat. I've talked to a few people who thought it was ate, past tense eat. Ashleigh wanted me to clarify that.

Okay, I"ll try to post some pictures tomorrow. He poses for the camera and it's so cute. I have taken some cute shots since arriving home so I will try to post tomorrow. He has his first doctor visit tomorrow so we are hoping all goes well.

Home Sweet Home Never Felt So Good!

We're home and oh does it feel good! The last night in the hotel was trying. Jay-R had a meltdown and Ate Ashleigh who is a genius found the one and only thing to bring him comfort...Youtube videos from the orphange. He watched and sang along. Here is the link to the video he particularly liked. He is the second boy from the end on the right. These videos and songs brought him so much comfort. We know he is greiving the loss of his friends, caregivers, and former life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTn_tO27SEQ

This is worth sharing... we went through 3 security points in the Manila airport. We had to go through our third round of security before we could even sit at our gate. Kory and Jay-R had to go to the bathroom which required going out of the security zone. Kory said two airport workers handed him paper towels and then wanted a tip. Meanwhile, Jay-R ran out of the bathroom. The workers would not let Kory through until he tipped them. Then, he had to find Jay-R and go through security again. We were all so ready to go home. We had a few meltdowns on the plane, but overall, he did really well and he was really excited to go home!

Okay, after an emotionally draining night last night and going to bed at 5 pm...we were all exhausted....we were up at 4 am. Thomas is on Ate's TV and he is ready for breakfast. We were so lax in what we allowed him to eat while in the Phils so we need to make him eat food besides sweets and French Fries. He won't eat rice...amazing!

Okay, I am going to post some of our favorite pictures of the little man. The three shots of him with us individually are at the initial meeting at the orphanage. The one is from Star City amusement park and the other one is at the Church of God in the Philippines. I will post more later, too, and if you are on Facebook, I am going to post pictures, there, too.

Kory is the best daddy ever (by ashleigh)!

The Countdown...

Our countdown to home has officially began! We are all so ready to go home. Today, we met with a woman on the Board of Directors at the orphanage and her father for a tour of the Intramuros, the walled city. We had a nice time seeing the old Catholic churches and toured a museum. We even were able to get a glimpse at a Filipino wedding. The men in the wedding were all wearing their barongs. We had planned on going to the Manila Yacht Club for lunch and were looking forward to eating lunch by the bay. However, the traffic in Manila changed our plans. We sat in bumper to bumper traffic for over an hour because the city decided to close a major road, the road in front of our hotel. Our guides had a 2:30 meeting so we did not have time to eat. They had to drop us off at the corner near the hotel and we walked back to the hotel among all the people. It's some sort of anti-drug festival. I have attached some pictures-I honestly have never in my life seen so many people in one location! The festivities are (they are still going on right now) occuring in front of the Cultural Center of the Philippines.

We decided to eat lunch at the restaurant at the hotel. It was a very good international buffet-cost us $60 US dollars to eat there!!! Good food, though. That's the problem, we can't process in our minds how much we spend until after fact, but there was no way we were venturing into that crowd to find lunch!

At the swimming pool, we had a slight issue. Mr. Jay-R decided to spit water at another little girl in the pool. He did not like it when Mommy took him out of the pool. He had a "time-in" for a punishment. Mommy held him on the chair. He was not happy. I got the "time-in" idea from another adoptive parent's blog. Children in orphanages are self soothers and time-outs alone don't work for them-they are good at soothing themselves. So, instead, we are making him stay close to us for the duration of the punishment time. Afterwards, he swam just fine and we had a nice time despite the breeze. Helicopters kept flying above and one even ejected confetti which just amazed Jay-R.

Our lives are forever changed by this trip in so many ways. We have met so many amazing people. The hospitality of the Filipino people is so warm and friendly. We have seen the vast differences that exist from poverty firsthand at those who reside in shacks to the large westernized malls with Gap and other stores. We have seen young children in tattered clothing begging on the streets, the vendors weaving in and out of traffic with their goods to sell. The traffic-it takes an hour to get a few miles! People-people are everywhere! We have eaten delicious Filipino food. And thank goodness, no one has gotten sick. We did not experience the usual constipation of adopted children-our fruit boy is very regular! And most of all, we are experiencing the unconditional love that comes from opening one's heart to adoption. We know we will experience challenges once we return home as we all adjust to being a family of four but we all love this little boy. Just a few minutes ago, he said, "Love you Mommy!" My heart swelled with love.

The next time I blog, I will be in the homeland of USA! And I will post pictures from our trip of Jay-R. As we adjust some, we look forward to seeing all of you soon! And Philippines, we hope to return here in 10 years for a homeland visit for Jay-R. Thank you all for your continued prayers, support, and love.