A Rekindled Friendship in the Making...

I wasn't planning on blogging today. I have a million things to do before we leave for Tennessee tomorrow for an awesome weekend with my family. Gatlinburg, Tennessee holds a special place in our hearts and marriage...for one, it was our first vacation together and two, we were married there. I think in 12 years, we've been there around 15 times at least! Anyway....

A phone call changed my blogging plans. Kory called me at work all excited. When he came home from work, the answering machine was blinking. It was a call from a woman in Wisconsin who adopted a boy from the same orphanage as Jay-R. Apparently, their son talks about Jay-R all the time and through some searching via her social worker, they found out Jay-R was not so far away in Ohio. Knowing now how social our son is, I'm sure he was good friends with many of the boys. I guess this family has video with Jay-R that they had taken when picking up their son. Kory talked to her for some length of time and learned a lot about their son. We are really needing to get a web cam so we can skype this family as well as our foreign exchange friend who is back in the Philippines. And hopefully, in the not too distant future, we'll be able to reunite our sons for a playdate!

This brings a smile to my face. God is so awesome. Adoption is awesome...it brings children to loving homes and gives mommies, daddies, and big sisters someone else to love. And it allows friendships from half way around the world to still continue. We are so excited about the opportunity for Jay-R to rekindle this friendship. God is good!
This story is to be continued....

A Day of Significance

September 2, 2008...a normal day at work. I was helping with a bingo activity at my work when one of my co-workers came over to tell me that Pat from Lifelink, our agency had called. She took my place so I could return the phone call. I was completely unassuming...I had just received a letter in the mail and a handwritten note on the top requesting our up to date email address. Pat was just calling for our email address, right? When I called her back, she asked me if I had a moment of privacy. I remember shutting the door to my office and feeling the butterflies in my stomach, my heart racing, what could she possibly have to tell me. Never in a million years did I dream that it would be the news of our son, Jay-R. I remember walking into the room and sharing the news with my co-workers and residents and someone commenting that I was trembling. I remember calling my husband at work but my co-worker actually told him the news... I was so emotional, I couldn't speak. The same with my daughter who was shopping with my mom at the time because there was no school due to Junior Fair Day. Then, we came home and shared the news with our new social worker who we had already scheduled a visit with just so she could meet us before she took over our case. It's a day we will never forget. For everyone who has received a referral, I'm sure you feel the same way. It's like those days in history...where were you when JFK was shot (not born yet) or where were you when 9/11 happened (at work). Some things you just don't forget. And for those of you waiting for referrals, your magical never to be forgotten day is coming. I pray for all of you it's soon!!!

And something else of significance...we had our last post placement visit today! Yay!!! We are one step closer. Our social worker will now prepare the 4th visit report and send it off to Lifelink our international agency who will forward the information to the Philippines. Then, we await the documents from the Philippines granting us permanent guardianship of Jay-R. Most countries finalize in the child's birth country but the Philippines finalizes in the US. So, we are hoping to go to court for finalization in October or November. The visit today went fine. Nothing really has changed. Our social worker said consistency is good.

After she left, he was a little ornery. He likes kindergarten but it leaves him sooo tired. He has picked up the phrase, "I'll kick your butt." So, he spent some time in time-out for his naughty word choices. And he was a little out of sorts all night. He and Ashleigh were nagging each other, too. So reminds me of my sister and me when we were younger! He is now tucked in bed sleeping soundly. He falls asleep in seconds now since school started. He is soo tired. We are trying to get him to bed earlier each night and keep our evenings not so busy but with an 11 year old, too, that's really hard. Tonight we had to go to the fairgrounds to help with the 4-H booth. Jay-R has no concept of what a fair is and even though I'm not a fair person, I am looking forward to sharing in his excitement of the fair next week.

Well, I think I might take advantage of this early bedtime myself!

Settling into the School Routine with Smiles :)

The First Day of School

Ashleigh and her two friends taking their first steps toward their first day at middle school!

The First Day of School Picture: Ashleigh

The First Day of School Picture: Jay-R

Checking out his locker at Open House

Well, school is going better than my post a few days ago. Jay-R's teacher called me on his second day to share that he is on task, always does what she asks the first time, and is social with the other kids. She said she was getting ready to remind him to get his lunch when he said, "I need to get my lunch!" He is talking a little more about what he does at school. The behavior at home is pretty much back to normal and he is going to bed soo much better because he's super tired! We are slowly settinling into our new routines. Ashleigh is surviving at middle school. She misses her best friend who is at another school. She has talked to her on the phone...the other school is only 20 minutes away so it's not like they will never see each other again. Ash is finding other people to hang with at school but I can tell she really misses O. She'll get through it, though. Soon we'll be into the soccer season and life will be busy! For now, we are enjoying a relatively quiet and cool (grrr...where did the summer heat go?) weekend.

A Very Emotional Day

Today is almost over, and I am glad. I feel so emotionally drained. Jay-R started kindergarten today. He did awesome at his open house last night and even showed his teacher his ornery side. This morning, he did fine when I dropped him off-no tears, no clinginess. Ashleigh and her two friends walked to school today-her first day of middle school! She found out Sunday night her best friend was changing schools and she was crushed. She has never experienced a friend moving/changing schools. But, the morning started off okay.

We had a baseball fundraiser luncheon at work today so I was outside all day. It was warm...yeah, but being in the sun for about 3 hours straight gave me a massive headache that I am actually still dealing with.

When I picked Jay-R up from daycare (the school bus takes him there after school), he didn't want to talk about kindergarten. His entire packed lunch was left untouched so somehow he ended up buying today. He told me he tried the applesauce. I plan to pack his lunch almost daily since he is such a picky and slow eater. I'm not sure how it happened that his lunch was left in the locker but I wrote his teacher a note to address this concern. Anyways, this triggered a massive meltdown/shutdown moment. It was as if it were March and we had just returned from the Philippines. The meltdown behavior...hitting, kicking, pulling away, refusing to look at us, etc was all there. I tried to hold him and talk to him but he needed some time to himself. Finally, I scooped him up and took him to the dinner table and fed him his dinner on my lap. This calmed him. We all reassured him that just because he was starting kindergarten, we would all still be there for him, would still take care of him. He finally opened up and talked a little about the lunch thing and said he didn't know he was supposed to get his lunch from his locker. At daycare, they bring his lunch to him so I'm sure he was unsure about what to do and maybe no one else in his class packed. He ate really well at supper...I'm sure he was ravenous!

Then, off to his first soccer practice. We are coaching his team. That went well and he had a great practice, was social and interacted well with the other kids, and said he loved soccer. After soccer, he had a snack and took a bath. He melted down again...although this time was more whining...when I told him no more snacks, it was time for bed. After stories, he actually told me he was tired and he fell asleep in record time...probably 30 seconds.

I knew the transition to kindergarten wouldn't be easy, and I was anticipating a rough week. The meltdowns are hard...emotionally draining. It's hard to experience that just home feeling again. The adjustment is huge, though...a change in routine, new faces, the unsureness. He has a new teacher at daycare, too, so this adds yet another change. He did think the bus ride was cool, but that is something new. I know kindergarten is a big step for all kids but considering the changes he has experienced in less than 6 months, it is no wonder. I've been reading through that adoption book, and yes, I believe that all kids are unique and individual, but Jay-R's reaction really fits the description of major transitions the author describes.

So, my day has been emotionally draining. Ashleigh's day went okay. I was worried about her, too. I'm not complaining or whining...it's just a mother's heart to want to fix everything for her kids. And, it's just hard to see him go through these meltdowns again, and it's hard to be on the receiving end of these. We want to help Jay-R, encourage him to share what he feels in words, and reassure him. I want kindergarten to be a positive experience and sixth grade as well. We're committed to and love both of our kids so much. We'll take it day by day! Hopefully, we'll have a positive report to share soon! :)

Fossil Hunting

We ventured Saturday to Fossil Park. Ashleigh and her friend had learned about the nearby park in a class at school. We're not big into fossil hunting and didn't really know what we were looking for, but we thought it would be something fun, interesting, and different to do. Despite the unseasonable chill in the air, it was fun. We found a lot of fossils with shells. I guess this park is only one in 3 I think in the world where you can go and fossil hunt. The dirt and rock are brought from nearby quarries that are rich in fossil rock.

Jay-R was determined he could lift this rock. He had us all laughing along with some nearby fossil hunters.

Some helpful information for fossil illiterate people like us...

Studying something in the rock...I think a worm!

The girls taking a break from digging.

Being silly as usual!

I love pictures like these!

Transition Trials

We had a pretty good weekend. I have pictures to share from our fossil hunting experience but I haven't uploaded them yet and at the moment, I want to share about our "transition trials." Just when Jay-R is comfortable with his routine of daycare/preschool M-W-F and Grandma's T-Th, his life is about to change. He starts kindergarten on Tuesday. In our town, our kindergarten is all day, every day. After kindergarten, he will take a bus to daycare until we are off work. He'll have homework, soccer practices starting, new faces to get used to, and new routines. He hasn't really talked about it much, and I wasn't sure what he was really thinking about everything. Friday night, he cried at bedtime for a long time. Finally, we let him sleep on a blanket on our bedroom floor. (Our bed is not big enough for a sleep kicking youngster). Today, we've had a couple of meltdown moments similar to those we experienced shortly after returning home from the Philippines although not as intense. He cried, wouldn't look at me, and then after about 5 minutes, flung himself around my neck and hugged me tight saying, "Mommy!" Earlier, he had taken the large Filipino flag a young volunteer at my work made and hid it in the corner of his room. When I asked him why he was hiding it, he said, "I don't want it." I know it's normal for him to want to fit in. I know he's uncertain about what to expect at kindergarten. Later, after the crying issue, he spotted a picture on our nightstand of the three of us on a chairlift in Gatlinburg, Tennessee where we are going over Labor Day weekend. He was really interested. He is intrigued by mountains. We looked at a photo album with him of our vacation to Tennessee in 2006 to show him some of the things he would see. The last page of the scrapbook is a picture of our van pulling the camper that our friends took as they followed us down the road. He pointed to it and said, "I'm in there." We told him "No, you were still at White Cross." And then later tonight, he talked about being a baby at White Cross and how they took care of him. This little boy has been through so many changes in his life. I'm sure the uncertainty of what to expect at kindergarten is causing some anxiety. We keep sharing about it and reassuring him. Ashleigh showed him a picture of his kindergarten teacher and he thought that was cool. So, this could be a rough week for us, but we'll get through it. Ashleigh starts middle school and is a little nervous about this, too. So, like I said, this could be a rough week for all of us but we'll get through! Oh, and I promise I will post those fossil hunting pictures later this week.

Yummy Banana Que!

While at Camp Muhubay, the adults did a Filipino cooking session making banana que (pronounced Q). We decided this would make a great family cooking project. First, you start with some plantains...yellow with some dark spots. You can't use regular bananas.

You cut them in half (with a child safe knife of course).

You roll them in sugar...we used Sugar in the Raw brand because that's what they demonstrated at the cooking session. The sugar crystals are larger.

Then, you fry them in oil. We used regular canola oil.

While they are cooking and cooling, you find something interesting to do like cut out the ABC letters with your daddy to practice them for kindergarten.

The finished yummy product. You can use the wooden bamboo skewers to eat them on a stick. We didn't have any so we ate them with a fork. Our whole family loved them! We bought some more plantains from the store but they are green so we will have to wait a few days for them to ripen. Delicious!!!