Fever and Night Terrors

What a weekend...Ashleigh had a low grade fever most of the weekend and an upset stomach. Finally, today the fever was down and she was feeling well enough to do some school shopping. We hit Old Navy, Kohl's, and Target. I think we have what we need to start off the school year. Of course the Kohl's gift card I ordered with my credit card points was in the mailbox after our shopping trip, but oh, well, Jay-R needs new shoes yet so I guess I'll make another trip to Kohl's. His feet are growing.

Jay-R had terrible night terrors both Friday and Saturday night. He had similar experiences when we first came home from the Philippines and I didn't realize they were actually night terrors until talking to some parents who had also adopted and described their children's night terrors. Their experiences were exactly what Jay-R experiences. During these moments, he screams, kicks, and is still asleep. Kory tried to console him as he was still awake downstairs and heard Jay-R first, but he didn't calm down until Mommy came in. I almost have to gently shake him and quietly tell it's mommy and everything is okay before he calms down during these moments. I think it happened 4 times Friday night and 3 times Saturday night. It seems like if he is overly tired, they are more likely to happen. I've googled night terrors and done a little reading about them to try and understand them more. He doesn't remember it at all in the morning.

Well, tomorrow marks one week until school starts. I'll have one in kindergarten and one starting middle school. Exciting times...

More Summer Pics

Ashleigh wasn't feeling so hot tonight...low grade fever. Jay-R sat by her to help her feel better.

One of Jay-R's favorite books right now is "Just Me and My Mom" by Mercer Mayer. He had a "just me and mom" day on Weds. We started at a local metropark and had a picnic. He played on the playground for a short while, walked by the lake, and then I took him to the indoor area thinking he would enjoy climbing on the fake sand dune and playing in the tree. Only the problem was....no one else was in there and it was quiet, I mean quiet. I love quiet, but to a young boy from Manila which has to be one of the loudest, busiest non-stop cities in the world, the quiet still freaks him out. This is a complete forced smile in the picture. He was peeking out at a squirrel and some birds but he wasn't too sure about being inside of there. Even after 5 months, he can't quite handle quiet yet.

His personality shining through...ornery!

Vacation Bible School...a whole week of song, crafts, fun snacks, and overall fun while learning about Bible stories and Jesus. We learned that Jay-R is quite the dancer. He never ceases to amaze me. Now that he has been here awhile and is comfortable, his true personality is shining...quite the social little guy! Ashleigh has matured and grown so much this summer. Many people in the church and other places have commented that they don't even recognize her! She has grown taller, thinned out, gotten contacts and braces, her hair has lightened and she has lost all the little girl look. I was so proud of both of them...they did a great job at the program.

This was Jay-R's first baseball game. We have a minor league team near us, the Toledo Mud Hens. The game lasted a long time due to a slow start and then a tied score in the 9th. A Mud Hen player hit a homerun to win the game. We did the wave and other crazy things as they prepared for the fireworks show. The crazy green hats were a free giveaway that night.

Chronological Age vs. Family Age

I'm reading an adoption book-Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child by Patty Cogen. I had checked it out from the library before we traveled to get Jay-R and had read some of it but reading it now, it makes a whole lot more sense. I wished I would have had a chance to read the entire book before we returned from the Philippines. Anyways, there is a very interesting concept she discusses in the book that has really made me think about some of Jay-R's reactions to things. There are times, he goes from acting like the 5 year old he is to a 2 year old within minutes. It's like he is going through different maturity/developmental stages within minutes. Of course, this all ties into the past experiences he has experienced of loss, etc. What really struck me was the concept of chronological age vs. family age. Family age defined as the length of time the child has been with the family. She states that a child adopted internationally has been using survival skills but must now learn how to use family skills, or in other words, what it means to be part of a family. So, in our case, Jay-R is really 5 years old, but his family age is 5 months. She goes on to state that you should respond to your child's family age when a tantrum, etc. happens, and it may seem like you are babying your child in your response but that will help your child developmentally and in forming his/her identity. Kory and I discussed this and it all makes sense. Jay-R is learning how to be part of a family, what his role is, and what this means. We struggle with how much to do for him knowing he missed out on the one on one hands on care when he was younger yet also knowing he will be starting kindergarten and will need to do some tasks independently. For instance, sometimes he will dress himself and sometimes he absolutely insists on needing help. Really, he has and continues to bond and attach really well to us, but the concept of family age helps us in knowing how to deal best with his tantrums and emotional outbursts when they happen. I can't wait to find time to read more of the book. It's only $10 on Amazon. com and I am planning on ordering it as soon as I find time to do so. It's waiting in my shopping cart! I highly recommend this book.

Pray for Baby Annabelle

Please pray for Baby Annabelle. Her family lives in our community. She has a heart condition. Her family is asking for prayers...here is the link to their blog...

http://annabellameyers.blogspot.com/


Hug your children and thank God for them. It has to be sooo hard to see your children suffer but God hears prayers!

Why? Why? Why?

Every child goes through the "why" stage, and Jay-R has entered this stage. Everything I tell him to do, I mean everything, is followed by a "why." I explain once, I explain twice, then by the third time, a simple "Because I said so" is the answer he gets. It's funny watching him go through these stages. The no stage, the why stage, etc. Since he has only been with us a few months and he is learning English, the stages that toddlers go through, he is going through. For instance, a lot of two year olds go through the "no" stage where "no" is the favorite reply to everything. Jay-R went through that stage about 2 weeks-3 weeks after we got home. It didn't last long. So, I'm hoping the "why" stage doesn't last long. It's one thing to be curious about something and another to say "why" to every little thing. But isn't that face with the fudgesicle beard cute...

Noticeable Changes

Jay-R has been home with us for about 5 months and wow, the changes we have seen. The biggest I have noticed this week alone is his willingness to go to people he knows are "safe" and how he seems less overwhelmed in large crowds. He is doing awesome at Vacation Bible School with his teachers and the sessions. He loves it! He loves his church and seems to feel at home there and knows everyone is safe and loves him.

Tonight, was our annual family picnic at the nursing home where I work. There are usually between 300-400 people there in attendance. He easily warmed up to my co-workers. He played games with the kids. He sat by himself while daddy and sister were off helping with something (where he could see me) and ate some watermelon. And, he dressed up as Batman and danced while the band played. Wow, he has grown in so many ways.

On Friday when Kory picked him up from daycare, the teacher commented, "Wow, what a change in that little boy." When I drop him off in the morning, I no longer have to peel him off me...he easily and excitably goes to his teacher and friends. And, yes his girlfriend. He talks about his "girlfriend" all the time!

I am excited to see these changes especially since he starts kindergarten in the fall, but all this independence makes me a little sad. My baby is growing up already! But, I am so happy he has bonded and attached so well. He looked in the mirror the other night and said, "I love God, I love Mommy, I love Daddy, I love Ate." It doesn't get any better than that!

Recent Pictures of Summer Fun

Recent summer fun...more zoo adventures, the lake, and our town's summer festival. I'll have to post pics from this weekend later this week. Jay-R experienced his first American baseball game. This week, our church is doing Vacation Bible School...another new experience for Jay-R. I was just thinking tonight...I remember last year at VBS, I had this longing, this ache in my heart of knowing my son or daughter wasn't here yet and wondering if he or she would be at VBS the next summer. Well, it was just less than one month from that time, we found out about Jay-R. And yes, this summer at VBS, we have our son/brother joining in the fun!