Soccer is Life...

I've seen the t-shirts, bumper stickers, etc. with "Soccer is Life" expression on them. I have to say that right now, soccer is life for us! Tonight was our 11th day straight of either soccer game or practice between the two kids. Keeps us busy, but we love it! Everyone at work tells me to enjoy it now...it goes by fast!

Six Months Together

Jay-R has been with us six months today! It is so hard to believe it's been six months since we were at White Cross in the Philippines half a world away in the heat meeting our little man for the first time. Here are some comparative pictures. This is our first family photo taken in front of White Cross probably about two hours after meeting each other. He had a death grip on me but his expression kind of says he's a little uncertain, a little afraid...

Late July....a family photo taken at McDonald's of all places but the expression is so different...it says I'm ornery, I'm happy, I love my family, and I know I'm loved and I belong here!

He posed for a picture while at a park in the Philippines. It's a half smile, one that is completely posed for the picture. Compare to...

Here's his smile that we all love with the two front teeth missing! Eating rice (still one of his favorite foods) and wearing his silly glasses!

Here's a picture at White Cross six months ago of an only child now with a five year old brother and a little boy now with an Ate Ashleigh. Both very unsure of the other, not sure how to interact with each other yet, but.....

A sister and brother who have grown to love each other very much! They play together, they argue together, but they are bonded for life!

In Six Months, Jay-R has grown in so many ways...

*his English is phenomenal! He speaks proficient English and is constantly adding new phrases to his language. The newest being..."I don't have time." (I asked him yesterday to put a book in his school book box, and he says, "Mom, I don't have time right now. I need to eat."

*He is now eating almost everything. He is still not crazy about pizza or cheese in general, though. He tries most every vegetable and even likes asparagus. His favorite food is peanut butter.

*He is Mr. Social. He makes friends easily, interacts easily, and loves to help his friends.

*He is doing so well at school and daycare. He listens well and wants to do a good job. I think I have another perfectionist just like big sis!

*Meltdowns when they do occur last shortly and he is easily re-directed and re-engaged with us.

*He can actually stay awake during the day without needing a nap but he needs the 8 pm bedtime because he is tired!

*And he's gained 5 pounds...he's up to 35 pounds. He can't wait to be as big as Daddy!

Areas we're still working on...

*Sleep...still dealing with night terrors-this week has been especially rough. He still struggles with feeling secure and comfortable falling asleep by himself in his room alone when he wakes up in the middle of the night.

It's hard to imagine life without Jay-R. I know there used to be a time when I did sleep through the night without being woke up. And I know Ashleigh would say she remembers a time when the house use to be quiet, well minus the dogs barking! But, nights like last Friday, where the kids played on the karaoke together, she would tell you she loves having her little brother. She used to tell Kory and I that we were "boring." So, even though he might get on her nerves at times, she loves her little brother. And, nothing cracks me up more than when he says, "Ashleigh" in this annoyed voice when she does something to annoy him!

One of Ashleigh's soccer coaches commented on how much Jay-R has changed from spring season to fall soccer season. He loves to run around on the field with Ashleigh's team, laughing, and interacting with them.

What a difference six months makes!

Tears

One of the things about goldfish, they don't usually live long.

We had a busy day filled with two soccer games, soccer pictures, a wedding (Jay-R's first), and a fun wedding reception. Jay-R came home excited and ready to feed his fish. Only, his Ate found the fish floating belly side up in the bowl. Not a good sign....

The tears flowed when I had to explain for the first time to Jay-R that something he loved had died. Another loss in his life....he cried and cried and cried. I comforted him, reassured him he had done a wonderful job taking care of and loving his fish. Poor little guy....

On a positive note, the wedding reception had mini goldfish bowls with goldfish sitting on all the tables. The children were allowed to take one home. Ashleigh had taken one home. So, we now are the proud owners of Butta, the goldfish number two.

Another life lesson learned.

Mr. Social...

I had a good laugh this morning. We had nasty patchy fog which delayed school for 2 hours. I had to drop Jay-R off at daycare before heading to work. Since it was early morning, the school-agers were in the same room as the 3 and 4 year old preschoolers, Jay-R's old class. When he arrived in the room, there was a huge chorus of "Jay-R!" "Jay-R" "Jay-R's here!" He gave me a quick hug, let me hug him and kiss him, and he was off. He went running towards his friends.

It reminded me so much of our first meeting at White Cross. After spending about an hour and a half with Jay-R, they had taken us on a tour of the orphanage. We then walked to the school which is located on the same grounds as White Cross. I'll never forget....when we got to the school, there was a huge chorus of "Jay-R!" "Jay-R" "Jay-R"!

That's our little man...Mr. Social. It's so fun to see his personality come alive now that he is comfortable and at home with us and his new life.

Mr. Social is now peacefully sleeping. Tomorrow marks the official kick-off of 16+ soccer games (between both kids) in a month and a half. It's his first game, and he is so excited!!!

Life Lessons Learned at the County Fair

Last night we ventured to our county fair. We are not fair people but the community band I play in was performing and we had fair passes. A little sidebar on the county fair...our county fair was ranked #1 in the state last year, even over the state fair. It's huge. We did not grow up in this county so we are still getting used to this love of the fair. Anyway...
Kory and Ash took Jay-R to every animal barn while the band played and then got some yummy fair food. Jay-R had an ear of corn on a stick and some Doritos...healthy combination, I know, but Daddy was in charge of dinner. Ash had a cheeseburger and chips and Kory had pizza. They listened to the end of our concert and then we visited with my parents and some friends. We walked toward the apple dumpling stand...my favorite fair food! The kids and my dad also got ice cream. Jay-R's eyes were huge as he took in the rides, the games, and the people. We had already told the kids no kids b/c we are going back to Cedar Point in a month plus there is something about fair rides that makes me nervous. They just have never seemed safe and sturdy. Anyway, after touring Ashleigh's 4-H booth and watching the huge model train that was set-up, we headed down the midway to let the kids play a game. Jay-R wanted to do the water gun race. Daddy helped him as he raced me so of course with just us, he won. He opted for a stuffed dog. Then, Ash wanted to play the "toss the ball into a bowl to win a goldfish" game. Kory gave Jay-R a $1, too and they both played. Only, guess who won? Jay-R tossed the ball, it bounced, and landed into the bowl. Ash was trying so hard but no such luck. Ash was not at all happy that her 5 year old brother won, and she didn't. They exchanged some sibling rivalry words that went something like "I won and you didn't"..."You're gonna kill that fish!" (he was shaking it up a little too much...poor little fish!). Ashleigh was unhappy and walked ahead of us as we trekked back to the car trying to avoid the mud ruts from the previous day's rain. Once in the car, I used the fish experience to teach her a life lesson..."Life's not fair." Things don't always go the way you want them, too. Adults deal with this all the time. Two people want the same promotion. Person A has more experience, education, whatever but Person B still gets the promotion. Before we were even out of the parking area, the two had reached an agreement that they would take care of the fish together. Jay-R said, "Ate, you can see my fish." Then, he gave her the fish to see. He named the fish Jay-R...too cute. Ashleigh did make an interesting point...this is the first time in Jay-R's life that he has his very own pet. Guess who got to stay up last night making a permanent home for the fish...yep, mom and dad. One of the joys of parenthood!

A Rekindled Friendship in the Making...

I wasn't planning on blogging today. I have a million things to do before we leave for Tennessee tomorrow for an awesome weekend with my family. Gatlinburg, Tennessee holds a special place in our hearts and marriage...for one, it was our first vacation together and two, we were married there. I think in 12 years, we've been there around 15 times at least! Anyway....

A phone call changed my blogging plans. Kory called me at work all excited. When he came home from work, the answering machine was blinking. It was a call from a woman in Wisconsin who adopted a boy from the same orphanage as Jay-R. Apparently, their son talks about Jay-R all the time and through some searching via her social worker, they found out Jay-R was not so far away in Ohio. Knowing now how social our son is, I'm sure he was good friends with many of the boys. I guess this family has video with Jay-R that they had taken when picking up their son. Kory talked to her for some length of time and learned a lot about their son. We are really needing to get a web cam so we can skype this family as well as our foreign exchange friend who is back in the Philippines. And hopefully, in the not too distant future, we'll be able to reunite our sons for a playdate!

This brings a smile to my face. God is so awesome. Adoption is awesome...it brings children to loving homes and gives mommies, daddies, and big sisters someone else to love. And it allows friendships from half way around the world to still continue. We are so excited about the opportunity for Jay-R to rekindle this friendship. God is good!
This story is to be continued....

A Day of Significance

September 2, 2008...a normal day at work. I was helping with a bingo activity at my work when one of my co-workers came over to tell me that Pat from Lifelink, our agency had called. She took my place so I could return the phone call. I was completely unassuming...I had just received a letter in the mail and a handwritten note on the top requesting our up to date email address. Pat was just calling for our email address, right? When I called her back, she asked me if I had a moment of privacy. I remember shutting the door to my office and feeling the butterflies in my stomach, my heart racing, what could she possibly have to tell me. Never in a million years did I dream that it would be the news of our son, Jay-R. I remember walking into the room and sharing the news with my co-workers and residents and someone commenting that I was trembling. I remember calling my husband at work but my co-worker actually told him the news... I was so emotional, I couldn't speak. The same with my daughter who was shopping with my mom at the time because there was no school due to Junior Fair Day. Then, we came home and shared the news with our new social worker who we had already scheduled a visit with just so she could meet us before she took over our case. It's a day we will never forget. For everyone who has received a referral, I'm sure you feel the same way. It's like those days in history...where were you when JFK was shot (not born yet) or where were you when 9/11 happened (at work). Some things you just don't forget. And for those of you waiting for referrals, your magical never to be forgotten day is coming. I pray for all of you it's soon!!!

And something else of significance...we had our last post placement visit today! Yay!!! We are one step closer. Our social worker will now prepare the 4th visit report and send it off to Lifelink our international agency who will forward the information to the Philippines. Then, we await the documents from the Philippines granting us permanent guardianship of Jay-R. Most countries finalize in the child's birth country but the Philippines finalizes in the US. So, we are hoping to go to court for finalization in October or November. The visit today went fine. Nothing really has changed. Our social worker said consistency is good.

After she left, he was a little ornery. He likes kindergarten but it leaves him sooo tired. He has picked up the phrase, "I'll kick your butt." So, he spent some time in time-out for his naughty word choices. And he was a little out of sorts all night. He and Ashleigh were nagging each other, too. So reminds me of my sister and me when we were younger! He is now tucked in bed sleeping soundly. He falls asleep in seconds now since school started. He is soo tired. We are trying to get him to bed earlier each night and keep our evenings not so busy but with an 11 year old, too, that's really hard. Tonight we had to go to the fairgrounds to help with the 4-H booth. Jay-R has no concept of what a fair is and even though I'm not a fair person, I am looking forward to sharing in his excitement of the fair next week.

Well, I think I might take advantage of this early bedtime myself!