Quick update

I have a quiet house....no dogs barking (they came home today) and sleeping children and a husband! Ahh...

Jay-R has had meltdowns, mainly when he is tired and when he doesn't get his way. He punches us with his little fists, bites, pinches....we just hold him tight and let him cry it out. We reassure him that we love him and will be there for him. These meltdowns are exhausting...

but there is joy, too...he goes to bed without any problems..goes right to sleep after a few stories, some quiet Bible song music in the background, and a goodnight kiss. Kory has been lying in bed with him until he falls asleep but he goes right to sleep. That is a huge blessing! He folds laundry with me, too, and nothing beats hearing, "I love you Mommy."

Ashleigh goes back to school tomorrow. She took Monday and Tuesday off to recover from jet lag, a sore throat, and an upset stomach. I jokingly told her she couldn't go back to school, that I would home-school her...I will miss her during the day...she is such a wonderful help and so good with her brother.

Oh, a little clarification...Ate is pronouced "Ahtay" not ate, the past tense of eat. I've talked to a few people who thought it was ate, past tense eat. Ashleigh wanted me to clarify that.

Okay, I"ll try to post some pictures tomorrow. He poses for the camera and it's so cute. I have taken some cute shots since arriving home so I will try to post tomorrow. He has his first doctor visit tomorrow so we are hoping all goes well.

Home Sweet Home Never Felt So Good!

We're home and oh does it feel good! The last night in the hotel was trying. Jay-R had a meltdown and Ate Ashleigh who is a genius found the one and only thing to bring him comfort...Youtube videos from the orphange. He watched and sang along. Here is the link to the video he particularly liked. He is the second boy from the end on the right. These videos and songs brought him so much comfort. We know he is greiving the loss of his friends, caregivers, and former life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTn_tO27SEQ

This is worth sharing... we went through 3 security points in the Manila airport. We had to go through our third round of security before we could even sit at our gate. Kory and Jay-R had to go to the bathroom which required going out of the security zone. Kory said two airport workers handed him paper towels and then wanted a tip. Meanwhile, Jay-R ran out of the bathroom. The workers would not let Kory through until he tipped them. Then, he had to find Jay-R and go through security again. We were all so ready to go home. We had a few meltdowns on the plane, but overall, he did really well and he was really excited to go home!

Okay, after an emotionally draining night last night and going to bed at 5 pm...we were all exhausted....we were up at 4 am. Thomas is on Ate's TV and he is ready for breakfast. We were so lax in what we allowed him to eat while in the Phils so we need to make him eat food besides sweets and French Fries. He won't eat rice...amazing!

Okay, I am going to post some of our favorite pictures of the little man. The three shots of him with us individually are at the initial meeting at the orphanage. The one is from Star City amusement park and the other one is at the Church of God in the Philippines. I will post more later, too, and if you are on Facebook, I am going to post pictures, there, too.

Kory is the best daddy ever (by ashleigh)!

The Countdown...

Our countdown to home has officially began! We are all so ready to go home. Today, we met with a woman on the Board of Directors at the orphanage and her father for a tour of the Intramuros, the walled city. We had a nice time seeing the old Catholic churches and toured a museum. We even were able to get a glimpse at a Filipino wedding. The men in the wedding were all wearing their barongs. We had planned on going to the Manila Yacht Club for lunch and were looking forward to eating lunch by the bay. However, the traffic in Manila changed our plans. We sat in bumper to bumper traffic for over an hour because the city decided to close a major road, the road in front of our hotel. Our guides had a 2:30 meeting so we did not have time to eat. They had to drop us off at the corner near the hotel and we walked back to the hotel among all the people. It's some sort of anti-drug festival. I have attached some pictures-I honestly have never in my life seen so many people in one location! The festivities are (they are still going on right now) occuring in front of the Cultural Center of the Philippines.

We decided to eat lunch at the restaurant at the hotel. It was a very good international buffet-cost us $60 US dollars to eat there!!! Good food, though. That's the problem, we can't process in our minds how much we spend until after fact, but there was no way we were venturing into that crowd to find lunch!

At the swimming pool, we had a slight issue. Mr. Jay-R decided to spit water at another little girl in the pool. He did not like it when Mommy took him out of the pool. He had a "time-in" for a punishment. Mommy held him on the chair. He was not happy. I got the "time-in" idea from another adoptive parent's blog. Children in orphanages are self soothers and time-outs alone don't work for them-they are good at soothing themselves. So, instead, we are making him stay close to us for the duration of the punishment time. Afterwards, he swam just fine and we had a nice time despite the breeze. Helicopters kept flying above and one even ejected confetti which just amazed Jay-R.

Our lives are forever changed by this trip in so many ways. We have met so many amazing people. The hospitality of the Filipino people is so warm and friendly. We have seen the vast differences that exist from poverty firsthand at those who reside in shacks to the large westernized malls with Gap and other stores. We have seen young children in tattered clothing begging on the streets, the vendors weaving in and out of traffic with their goods to sell. The traffic-it takes an hour to get a few miles! People-people are everywhere! We have eaten delicious Filipino food. And thank goodness, no one has gotten sick. We did not experience the usual constipation of adopted children-our fruit boy is very regular! And most of all, we are experiencing the unconditional love that comes from opening one's heart to adoption. We know we will experience challenges once we return home as we all adjust to being a family of four but we all love this little boy. Just a few minutes ago, he said, "Love you Mommy!" My heart swelled with love.

The next time I blog, I will be in the homeland of USA! And I will post pictures from our trip of Jay-R. As we adjust some, we look forward to seeing all of you soon! And Philippines, we hope to return here in 10 years for a homeland visit for Jay-R. Thank you all for your continued prayers, support, and love.

Love the Philippines but ready to go home...

Hotel living anywhere is not fun...its too confining and we have just about reached our limit! We had a wonderful day today but tonight, we are a little stir crazy confined to this room. We love the hospitality of the Filipino people but we miss the familiarness of our American life. We know we have a looong plane ride ahead of us but we are looking forward to returning home. We appreciate everyone's comments...it helps us feel connected to friends and families afar.

So, anyway, Friday, we enjoyed a wonderful day with the Director of Children of Promise in the Philippines. Children of Promise is the child sponsorship program through the Church of God. We sponsor a girl here in the Philippines and prior to our trip, arrangements had been made for us to visit. We were picked up this morning around 9:15 am. We went to the home of girl we sponsor. It was a very touching moment for both us and her family. We were given the opportunity to see some of the ways we have been able to help her family.

Twenty-five dollars goes far in the Philippines. Please consider sponsoring a child...here is the website: http://www.echildrenofpromise.org/Default.aspx

We visited the Church of God here and then went to the Chinese cemetary. Very interesting. Our church back home is very mission minded so we enjoyed visiting this church and talking to the people there about people we know back home. That helped ease some homesickness, too. We then went to the Mall of the Asia, the largest mall in Asia. We ate delicious Filipino food at Gerry's Grill. A feast of various Filipino dishes was set before us-wonderful food! We then toured the Mall of Asia via golfcart-people kept looking at us and a few even took pictures-we felt like celebrities-weird! We had an awesome time with Fely and her staff. It was an absolutely wonderful day!

After returning to the hotel, we spent the night swimming, spending some time in the Traders Club lounge, and watching TV. We ordered Pizza Hut again-it was good and familiar. Tonight has been somewhat trying. We have had meltdowns for apparently no reason. He starts crying and has been hitting and throwing things. When he doesn't get his way, the meltdown begins. I have more patience than I even realized I had. He tends to take these moments out on Kory more than anyone and that is hard on Kory. Right now, he is looking at his lifestory book from the orphanage with his Ate. I know he is dealing with grief, transition, and missing his friends and doesn't necessarily know how to share that with us. When we get back home, there will be new transitions and things to deal with, but at least we can try to establish boundaries and routines.

Okay, I will post a few pictures-Pizza Hut!, Jay-R's playroom at the orphanage, and
Ashleigh with the girl we sponsor-isn't she beautiful!

Day 5-Homesickness is setting in...

Hello! It's 6:30 Friday morning. I am finding this the easiest time to blog b/c Jay-R is still sleeping! When he is awake, it is hard to do anything...he is so busy! Yesterday, we had our meeting at ICAB-the Intercountry Adoption Board. They are responsible for matching children to potential families. We met the social worker who helped match us to Jay-R. Jay-R was Mr. Shy and buried his face in his hat. After ICAB, our social worker from Parenting Foundation took us to an authentic Filipino store to buy some gifts. We received 60% off all non-sale items b/c Parenting Foundation families receive discounts. Okay, I have two children who love to shop. Ashleigh kept finding all sorts of things and Jay-R put item after item in the basket. We are not used to Filipino hospitality. The stores clerks were helping us find things, telling us about everything...we found it a bit overwhelming. And then we were ready to check out and pay, the total was over 7,000 pesos. My mind does not convert into dollars that quickly and I am thinking-"Oh my goodness, how much did we just spend?" We had been adding item after item-I tried to find things so each birthday, we can give Jay-R one item from his homeland. We did not have enough pesos so I had to use my Mastercard. It wouldn't go through. They had to call the bank and then I had to speak to the credit card representative. I had called before we left the US. Apparently, there was a hold or something placed on my card, the number was potentially compromised-I am getting so frustrated with this! Finally, the card went through and we were on our way 20 minutes later. Oh, by the way, we figured we spent approximately $150 US dollars.

After arriving back to our hotel and bidding our social worker farewell and thank you, we faced another dilemma, what to eat. Nothing is really within walking distance, we didn't want room service, and we were hungry. So, we tried Pizza Hut delivery. We received a large 1/2 Meat lovers, 1/2 Veggies Lover (with pineapple), 4 pieces of garlic bread, and 2 large bottles of pop for only $14 US dollars. The pizza was awesome and helped ease our homesickness some. As for Jay-R, he does not like pizza and ate a mango and Nutri Grain bar for lunch. He turns his nose up at food he doesn't like and makes the funniest face. After lunch, we swam for 2 hours. It was so warm outside, a little breezy, but oh, so warm. Jay-R is a fish like the rest of us but sticks mainly to the kiddie pool. He did venture to the adult pool a little bit.

Last night, I wanted out of the room. I am feeling cooped up with four of us in this tiny room. Across from our hotel is Star City, a mini amusement park. At night, the ferris wheel is lit up and both the kids wanted to go. I convinced Kory to venture out so we got ready, exchanged some more money, and grabbed a taxi and went. It cost us 1200 peso for all we could ride, around $20 US dollars (that's for all 4 of us together). Jay-R's eyes just lit up-he was so excited! We rode a variety of rides-bumper cars, carosuel horses, ferris wheel, and other rides. The kids had hotdogs, Pringles, and bottled water for $4! The prices amaze me here! When Jay-R told us he was tired (he placed two hands under his chin to indicate he was tired), we decided to walk back to the hotel. It wasn't far and we followed what looked like a bunch of Navy men. Shortly after (well, we had to wait for a new comforter to be brought because Jay-R spilled water all over ours!), we went to bed.

Another day planned. We are meeting our Children of Promise sponsored child today. Our time is dwidling. I will try to post some pictures and as soon as we are back in the states, I will post the pictures you are all waiting for!

Day 4-some challenges

Okay, let's try this again! I had an entire entry ready to post last night and my connection was lost. By then I had lost all patience to retype it! Jay-R kept walking from the bed to the bathroom to fill water bottles and he must have bumped my internet cable out of the connection. Oh, well such is life!

Anyway, we had an overall good Wednesday. We went to the province of Muntinlupa, about 45 minutes away, to the Parenting Foundation, our US agency's liason agency. We met the director and received Jay-R's important documents. The director and our social worker treated us to lunch at a nice Chinese restaurant. One of the challenges we are experiencing is his potty training, and when we are in new situations, he does not tell us he has to go. So, we had a bit of a mess when we arrived at the restaurant but nothing we couldn't handle. We have learned two imporant words, not sure if the spelling is correct, but we understand them and that's the important part-ee=pee and tatay = poo. Very important words! After lunch (I was thrilled Kory ate Asian food and liked it!!!!) we endured a looooong drive back to our hotel. We saw the US Embassy so that was neat. We spent the remainder of the day swimming and relaxing in the room. The Nickolodeon station has cartoons in tagalog so Jay-R loves to watch cartoons and he talks back to them. It's cute! We ate room service and are loving the fact we can all eat room servcie, ice cream included, for around $20! Last night was a bit of a challenge. Jay-R started repeating everything we were saying and hitting. He said, "No, daddy, No!" as if telling Kory not to do something, then he would start laughing. It is hard to tell him not to hit because it is hard to make him understand with the language barrier. The most important thing is to keep our voice calm and even and do our best to make him understand. He was very wound up last night. Finally (after I lost my blog entry), we decided 8:45 pm was a perfect time for all of us to go to bed. After 4 drinks of water, he decided to go to sleep!

We expect challenges-this is a huge adjustment for him. We are taking everything in stride. His personality is fun-loving and easygoing but he is fiercely independent. I think he has been used to doing things on his own, that he likes to be independent. He does allow us to help with some things like opening his banana, etc but he likes to do on his own what he can. He always ask permission before taking things like cookies, etc. so that is good. I love when he wakes up in the morning. He looks around and then shouts "Mommy!" We have had a few tearful moments-I'm sure he misses his friends and caregivers but he is easily calmed. I am finding it challenging to divide time between two children. He is very demanding of our time right now but I know Ashleigh understands and she loves her little brother. It is also hard to establish any sort of routine given hotel living. My arm hurts from carrying him but I love holding him and think that is important for the bonding. He weighs just a little over 30 pounds- not too much more than little Franklin our puppy (who I miss!).

A little bit more about our son: He loves magic tricks and did some "magic" tricks for us yesterday. He's a picky eater-so far, we know he likes, fruit, pancakes and the like, peanuts, ice cream, pancuit, and French fries. He loves mangos but these mangos are 900 times better than the mangos back home! He is ornery! It takes a hotel key in the slot by the door to operate the room lights. I was in the bathroom and all of a sudden it went dark on me. I could hear his laughing on the other side of the door! He is a fish and loves the water! The social worker at lunch commented, "It's like he found his home." He was on daddy's lap laughing and very content.

I forgot to mention the other day that we bought him a barong, the national attire for men in the Philippines for special occasions. We plan to have him wear it when he is dedicated at church. I love the Philippines, the people are so warm and friendly. At the store, there were sales clerks everywhere-I'm not used to that much hands on help when shopping! The thing that amazes us besides the traffic is that street vendors walk through the traffic to sell their goods! I was afraid the other day just to cross the street! There is also security guards and police everywhere-stores, banks, hotels, on the street, by the toll plazas on the streets. We are homesick for quiet-there is seldom quiet here. We are used to hearing horns and motorbikes constantly. Even 17 floors up in our hotel, I can hear traffic outside.

Well, we have a meeting this morning and I need to get a shower if we are going to eat breakfast. So, yes some challenges, a little homesick although I love it here, but we love this little boy and can't wait for him to walk into everyone's hearts when we return home!

Philippines Day 3

I am very tired right now and am forcing myself to blog before bed so I don't forget anything! Today was very busy. We woke up around 6 and he woke up around 7 am. Only once in the middle of the night did he wake up crying but he was easily calmed and went back to sleep. It rained all morning so after breakfast (which he did very well at-he's a fruit boy!), I called my co-worker's brother in law. He had offered to take us around. They picked us up around 12ish and we went to Mataki, the business district. We saw an entirely different side of Manila. We went to Glorietta Mall and did some shopping. I think we spent around $60 US dollars but we got 4-5 clothing articles for both Ashleigh and Jay-R as well as more pull-ups. (The potty training is in progress but the transition of the adoption has resulted in a few steps back. We anticipate it won't take long once we return home). Anyway, we ate at Jollibee, a Filipino chain similar to McDonald's only they specialize in fried chicken, rice, and spaghetti. Jay-R ate spaghetti and ice cream, two of his favorite foods. We went to their house and visited for a while and met the family. We then went to another mall-Market Place and he played on the playground and bounced on an inflatable for 30 minutes! This boy has endless energy! He would come to the entrance of the bouncey area to make sure we were still there. He also walked with J, my friend's brother in law for a while, but he kept turning around and making sure we were there. We went back to their house and ate milkfish, the Filipino national fish, BBQ hotdogs and pork, and of course rice. They also served mango and I think Jay-R ate 3 mangos today! Today allowed us the opportunity to see different sides of Manila. While at our friend's house, we watched a game of soccer in the street. The houses are side by side and you can scream at someone from your window and they can hear you. There are cars and people everywhere. We saw school let out at 6 pm (they have morning and afternoon sessions to accomadate everyone) and also everyone at the outside markets buying food for dinner. This look into his culture is priceless. It was also helpful having them help us decipher some of what he was saying! The language barrier is a bit of a challenge. He seems to understand a lot more English than we do Tagalog! Oh, one big difference from the US-there is no carseat law. I love the fact that I can cuddle with him while we are driving down the road!!! The traffic may be insane but everyone is respectable of one another-people just walk on the street and drivers stop. (They do have a helmet law for all motorbikes).

Overall, the bonding is progressing. He appears very comfortable with us. He loves being held and cuddled. Today, he was constantly looking for one of us if he couldn't see us. When he met my co-worker's family, he was shy and buried his head in my shoulder. He soon warmed up, though. He is so easy going and social. He is not so happy when he doesn't get his way but he is easily diverted to something else. I think our orphanage did an awesome job at preparing him. They told us that he carried our photo albums everywhere, made up stories about us, and told his friends at school that Mommy, Daddy, and Ate were coming in an airplane. Secondly, his personality also makes this transition easier.

Okay, we need to get this little boy to bed. We have another full day tomorrow. We love you all and will see you soon!